Traveling with special needs – Mom Dad CuppaKids

Hang to Dry – Taking Time to Chill On the Line

by Jenn & Chris on April 30, 2017

Downtime and Laundry Have Me in Heaven

We arrive at our latest place to stay and it feels like we have jumped into a movie set.

The view is insanely beautiful.

We keep waiting for someone to show up and tell us that we have the wrong house. That we should actually be staying in the garage, not the main villa overlooking the water in a small seaside town on the coast of Greece. It is everything you imagine a greek villa should look like, right down to the whitewashed walls and marble in every room.

We have fallen upon this place via a friend and his incredibly generous offer to use his family home. After many months of travel, through guesthouses, hostels, AirBnb’s or caravaning our way through the countryside, this feels like heaven because we are stopping for awhile.

We are chilling out. Taking it easy. No agenda. Nothing to see. Just to be.

Sunrises like these provide opportunity to reflect in gratitude

This feels like heaven because we can unpack.

Fully unpack for 10 days.

Not just our personal packs but the 1 big yellow backpack that encompasses our travel cubes, souvenirs, shoes, cosmetics and usually a big honkin’ bag of laundry.

It’s funny how perspectives shift on the road.

To us now, a chance to unpack could very well be one of the biggest luxuries we enjoy on this trip.

We typically don’t plan any more than a couple days ahead. We like travelling as the day takes us but lately its sped up a bit. I can’t quite tell if it’s because we now have a return date for our trip back to Canada or if we are in places we want to see so much of that we toggle back & forth between “tourist” and “traveller”?

When a travel days wipes out the whole crew

We seem to intuitively anticipate each other’s needs now. We can tell when one (or more of us) are travel weary and start making space and time for relaxing.

Reflection, quiet and sleep are our medicines required to get back on the horse (or camel or tuk tuk) and keep going.

We have all changed, I know that. My OCD on keeping things “neat & clean” has relaxed from a 9 to about a 2 on the peripheral stuff. Those things don’t matter so much anymore. What matters really is us, these experiences and being together.

As our priorities shift to focusing on being present, I can see a shift in everything we do.

For an absolutely incredible book on the practice of being present, I can’t recommend highly enough the book You Are Here by Thich Nhat Hanh. It has brought a calm and peacefulness to my world that I have never experienced before.

This book will change the way you look at life.

One of the most evident is in how we pack. What we thought we needed and what we really do is so completely different than when we started.

We have 3 distinct styles of packing. They all seem to be focus on eliminating extra time, energy and unnecessary opening of bags.

Here is a quick breakdown of how we roll:

The overnight/carry on travel pack

This includes 1 change of clothes, always a swim suit (thank you Drew Dudley and his tip that a swimsuit is “fun insurance” it has come in handy more than once), flip flops, a pr of PJ’s, toothbrush, and deodorant.

The 2-4 days city pack

1 extra pair of shorts, 2-3 shirts (depending on the mean temperature and how sweaty or smelly we might get as we travel), swim suit, flip flops, sarong (this can go a long way between beach, temple coverage and sun protection), small bag of deodorant, soap, conditioner, brush, and toothbrush.

The 4+ day in one stationary location

This gets me so excited you can’t imagine. Laundry, homemade meals, naps, even being domestic (like establishing some element of “home” for a few days) feels really really good.

Down days are some of my absolute favorites

For awhile, when we started talking about going home, I would picture Fred Flintstone putting his feet down in his car to put on the brakes. I wasn’t feeling ready yet. We still had so much to explore. What I realize now is that I had in my head that this was a singular defining moment for us. Yet life isn’t over after this trip. We can start planning the next one. We can relish in all the adventures we have had. We can cherish the beauty and the specialness of Canada for awhile. We can reconnect with family & friends. We can create & savour new memories back home.

Perhaps we can even welcome some of the amazing people we have met on our adventures to our home land and show them why we are so proud to be Canadian.

Come on over guys. The door is always open.

Real Life Travel

Cloud Nine – How Airlines Across The World Have Treated Our Special Needs Son

by Jenn & Chris on March 20, 2017

If you were to meet our son anywhere on our world trip, the first thing you would likely hear is “Hi, my name is Spencer. I really love airplanes. Can I tell you about them?”

It’s a script we have worked on to explain his deep passion with planes while helping him practice the social cues of conversation.

You see, Spencer has Autism. While Autism carries a breadth of different behaviours, a common trait is fixating on a particular subject matter that can often nears obsession. Currently, his fascination is everything to do with airplanes. He wants to become a pilot, practices Google flight simulator daily, watches everything he can on YouTube from aircraft investigations to test flights for Airbus and Boeing airplanes.

Flight crews (and especially pilots) are like gods to Spence. The generosity and kindness they have shown him throughout our adventure make them rock stars in my books. More than once their gestures have caused me to tear up simply because people just don’t do that anymore.

Thai Airlines pilots were so very generous with their time. They are definitely near the top of our list.

It is common for Spencer to enter a plane and turn left while the rest of us turn right. Don’t worry. He always asks permission and surprisingly often he is allowed to say a quick hello to the pilots before we head to our seats.

One West Jet flight, he checked in with the pilots to see if they had done their pre-flight checklist. “Jeff and Jeff” were incredibly gracious to him, walking through their flight plans and the controls. As he left the cockpit, he made the entire plane giggle as he said “if you need me, I’m in row 16!”. The beauty of the West Jet brand is that it wasn’t just the pilots. The crew were equally kind, providing us a care package as a send off on our world trip and an experience that Spencer still remembers (& talks about to this day).

When we flew Avianca back from the Galapagos Islands on a near empty airplane, he could hardly believe his good fortune to be able to wander the plane and look out the window from a myriad of locations. We couldn’t believe the patience the flight crew had to let him.

LATAM was by far one of his favourites because they use fancy (see glass) glasses and proper napkins. Spencer’s comment was that we might as well be in first class. A dream of his is to tour first class on an Emirates Airbus A380. If ever there was a brand advocate, he is theirs. Not because of Jennifer Aniston, but because of THIS guy. YouTube can be a very powerful influence. Let’s leave it at that.

Air New Zealand was so very special because we flew on a 787 Dreamliner, one of Spencer’s ultimate aircrafts. Their flight path was interactive, their in-flight entertainment system was the bomb, add in seat to seat texting and meeting the pilots, we will have a sweet spot for Air New Zealand forever and a day.

On Singapore Airlines, the pilot actually came out at the end of the flight and shook Spencer’s hand. I tried not to cringe as he commented and scored them a 7 out of 10 on their landing, suggesting that next time they try to “lightly kiss the ground” when they touch down. Thank god for their sense of humour and openness to hearing this from a 10 year old.

Singapore Airlines pilots were some of the nicest we have ever met

The wild thing is that its not just the general stuff. He knows fuel ratios, flap extension degrees, and all sorts of stuff that is way outside his weight class. When we were standing in line for customs at Brisbane airport, an Emirates flight crew walked up along side us. Spencer vibrated as he met the flight crew who very kindly offered to introduce him to the pilots. You would have thought me were meeting the Queen, as Spence drew in a big breath and approached the pilots with a hand out and his “Hi I’m Spencer” intro. The pilots smiled and listened as Spencer recounted the entire features and benefits list of an Emirates airplane. One pilot in particular (a Canadian) suggested he apply for a job when he is older. An ambition that is now solidly in Spencer’s line of sight.

On Thai Airlines, the flight crew provided an official passport for him to track his flights and for the pilot to sign. At the end of the flight, he went in to see the cockpit and was able to sit in the pilot’s seat. A chance opportunity he will remember for a lifetime.

Spencer perusing the cockpit of the Thai Airlines A330 flight we were on.

Every time we get to an airport, he goes plane-spotting, an opportunity to point out all the incoming planes and what they are. The awesomeness of an airport is determined by how many A380’s we have seen or how many 747, 777 and 787’s were at the terminal. He will tell anyone close how exciting this is and to be honest, his excitement is often infectious.

You see, the irony is that we were told with his Autism, Spencer might never be social. He might never hug us and he might never say I love you.

What we have discovered is that when we shifted our perspective just a little, we stopped focusing on the Autism. Sure. There are and always will be moments along this journey that our son has special needs, but it is far from what defines or drives us. Traveling the world, Spencer has no routine (his preference to his life before travel). Our days are filled with spontaneity and loudness and life. He has learned to deal with so much along the way and he is learning every day how to meet and connect with people from all over the world.

We, along with dozens of flight crews have been witness to an extraordinary little man who’s light and enthusiasm lights up a smile in anyone he meets.

We watch while he turns the coldest hearts into giggling people. Even when he’s talking all things aviation.

Except crashes.

We only have one rule: We don’t talk about plane crashes while we are on a plane.

That one is one even mom can’t handle.

Family Matters Travel

It’s the Journey…

by Jenn & Chris on November 24, 2016

And so ours begins.

How to stay present while traveling.

Mom Says

I wasn’t sure how we would approach writing about this adventure. Social media is so engrained in my world (both professionally and personally) that of course I want to share everything with everybody because it’s just all so beautiful and so different. We hope to spread the good word about unique places, spaces and experiences that we think you might enjoy. The kids eager to pass on lessons we have learned on the road, taking on the responsibility of sharing information with their class & friends as part of their experience.

Sea lions in the galapagos — The mere proximity we had to wild life in The Galapagos made me cry ALL the time.

We believe in sharing openly and honestly about this journey. Writing without censorship the awesomeness and the challenges of family dynamics on the road might help in planning for your own adventure. Traveling with special needs for us is not about focusing on the disability but about providing an ABILITY to see the world in a different way. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

Here’s the kicker. We barely ever get to ugly. It hasn’t ever really been a part of “us”.

The one bad I have been holding on to is that we haven’t written much. The truth is we haven’t written much YET because we (especially me) are learning to be present.

Swing at the end of the world views — This was the sun setting as the kids and I waited for them to venture on the Swing at the end of the world in Banos. IT was epic.

It’s so much more difficult than I realized.

I am in awe of the beauty mother nature has created here and listening intently to what the she has to say. These moments are gifts and I am concentrating on staying in the moment. To be still, breathe it in, recognize what it is and be grateful for all the beauty that sits before us. Admittedly it has brought me to tears so often that Chris is wondering if I’m going through “the change”.

Having Frigate birds soaring only a few feet away had us all choked up — Having Frigate birds soaring only a few feet away had us overwhelmed from the beauty of it all.

A dear friend gave us great advice before we left. Live fully in that moment for as long as you can, because the minute you bring a camera lens into the picture, all of the specialness you are witnessing disappears. A wise woman is she. A wise, wise woman.

Penguins in all their glory on Isla Isabella had me bawling — Penguins in all their glory on Isla Isabella. Penguins..Can we just say Penguins?

Dad says:

So here we are: all of the above is true, and now, this thing is on. Real time events, reactions, and fun times ahead.

We arrived in Quito in the evening to a never-ending river of light as the city sits surrounded by so many mountains. I am now speaking more spanish than ever, which was previously restricted to resort replies such as ‘si, yo es mucho macho’ and ‘uno mas’ and some upsizing at Taco Bell.

The city is awesome, foreign and fun. Look for more posts to come as we comb through the notes and find the best stuff for you all.

This sunset happened minutes after we witnessed humpback whales breaching a mile off shore. We all were overwhelmed with emotion — This sunset happened minutes after we witnessed humpback whales breaching a mile off shore.

I don't know what we loved more. Having an Eagle Ray float by us or the Kids singing "Oh Let's Name the Zone" from Finding Nemo on the way back. So far above everything else, being in the moment in the Galapagos has been one of those true chances of a lifetime kind of gifts. — I don’t know what we loved more. Having an Eagle Ray float by us or the Kids singing “Oh Let’s Name the Zone” from Finding Nemo on the way back. So far above everything else, being in the moment in the Galapagos has been one of those true chances of a lifetime kind of gifts.

Family Matters Travel

12 Ways to Survive Disney With Special Needs

by Jenn & Chris on May 20, 2016

For many parents the thought of a Disney Vacation brings visions of apocalyptic temper tantrums, crying, hungry and over-tired children.

For parents of children with special needs top that with a tenfold of anticipated stress and anxiety that accompanies the thought of maintaining a manageable environment while “doing Disney”.

Our main goal was to make this trip as easy and enjoyable as possible. Thinking through the many catalysts that could trigger a breakdown & the tools that we could use to manage them, here’s how to take the cringe-worthy worry out, survive Disney with special needs, and keeping everyone smiling.

12 Ways to Survive Disney with Special Needs

1) Teach Spontaneity

I know this sounds kind of ridiculous but kids with Special Needs (especially ASD/Autism) thrive on routine. Yet life doesn’t adhere to a particular schedule no matter how hard you try. We spent a lot of time prior to the trip working on “what if’s” and “Big deal or little deal?” scenarios. Our goal was to get the kids ready for plans not working out the way they should and keep expectations of routine low.

Kids traveling by boat to Disney — Another way to get to & from Disney is by boat from the Polynesian

2) Be Strategic

As we started planning, we looked at the busiest traffic times of Disney and chose one of the lowest of the year. This allowed for low volume line-ups and often discounts on packages and accommodations. We think this is one of the MOST important parts of being able to survive Disney with special needs.

For the record, we went Sun-Thurs the first week of November which rarely saw a line-up over 20-30 minutes & allowed us to experience many more rides in a day.

3) Make it EASY

We booked our flights and hotel using Expedia, which offered comparisons and made choosing simple and quick. To save money, we flew out of Buffalo to Orlando, and then took the Magic Bus to Disney. This direct and comfortable shuttle system took our luggage straight to our hotel, and our bags were delivered shortly after we arrived directly to our room. This made getting through the airport a snap, which is rather incredible and definitely something I recommend for anyone travelling with children, special needs or not.

4) Stay on site

We chose The Polynesian Resort for a couple of key reasons. The first, is that it is one of three on-site resorts that connect to Disney via the Monorail. We got an incredible deal for a multi-family room making access to and from the park quick, easy and fun throughout the day. It is also the best resort to watch the fireworks nightly with a perfect sightline to the show without the overwhelming loudness and crowds inside the park.

Bedroom at The Polynesian Resort - Disney World — Our Multi-Generational Room included 2 Double Beds, A pull out, Fridge and Microwave

5) The Magicband

Shopping at the Animal Kingdom - Disney World — Shopping inside Disney World was an easy distraction

Staying on site also gives you access to the Magicband that goes with booking at any Disney World Resort. Truly one of Disney’s smartest additions to the park and makes life so simple with customized Disney experience. Your Magicband is everything. From your hotel room key, FastPass+ access, your wallet throughout all the resorts and Disney World. You are able to purchase food, drinks & souvenirs in Disney using the Magicband which made walking around so much easier.

6) FastPass +

The FastPass is a god-send for special needs parenting as it allows you to pre-book 3 rides in advance each day. This can be done via the Disney app, and provides a specific time you are “reserved” to head to the ride. Any opportunity where we can prevent angsty waiting is incredibly powerful in our world.

*FastPass+ bookings can be done 30 Days in advance.

7) Disney Parks Disability Access Service Card (DAS Card)

The DAS Card allows persons with special needs, be they apparent or not, to arrive at a ride and receive a time to come back. So instead of standing in line for an hour, we could leave and come back later, which reduced our wait time in the actual line considerably, and gave us the flexibility to do other things that would contribute to our Disney visit in a positive way. We got ice cream, saw characters, took a bathroom break, shopped and occasionally just sat down for a rest till it was time to go back to the ride.

Grand Entrance & Intro show - Disney World — Just past this entrance to the left is the area you apply for a DAS, to the right is Mickey Mouse

Finding Fairy Godmother just behind the castle - Disney World, survive Disney with special needs — You will find Fairy Godmother just past the castle

8) Take Breaks

Staying so close also allowed us to choose when we were going to take some “breaks”, heading back to the hotel pool to refresh and regroup, providing some peaceful downtime before we headed back to the park. With the Monorail 5-7 minutes to the park, it allowed us the flexibility we needed to manage those moments where we thought we were hitting our limit.

9) Use meal/snack times as distractors

One of the most difficult and often stressful parts of traveling with a special needs child is eating out, with unfamiliar foods and lack of routine, so we opted out of the meal plan to avoid the food lines, choosing instead to rent a car and drive to a nearby Target for familiar and healthy lunch/snacking foods. The fridge in our room allowed for us to start every day with a quiet, calm breakfast and we used food in the park to keep the kids busy while waiting.

10) Noise cancelling headphones

A number of the rides at Disney can be loud and jarring, so we packed a pair of noise cancelling headphones in the event that things got too much. This gave our son a chance to deeply cushion the incredible sensory experiences going on around him.

survive Disney with special needs, Noise-Cancelling Headphones are the perfect solution for Autism at Disney — The headphones worked amazing at places like the Stunt Show at Disney Studios.

11) Have a flexible plan

Getting to the park early and choosing the most popular rides first was our strategy and we were able to enjoy them without ridiculous wait times. We tried to keep the rides balanced to reduce sensory overload, and if we did a closed, fast paced or loud ride, we would follow it with an open and slower ride that would be more relaxing and lower growing excitement levels. There will be moments you need to adapt. Just stay checked in with your kids and see what they can handle.

12) Breathe & Enjoy

The attendants and everyone we encountered at Disney were amazing, with customer experience obviously a priority. This is supposed to be fun for the whole family. So do as best you can to plan ahead, let routine go, let it flow, enjoy the moments and you too can have a Magical Disney vacation.