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Real Life – Page 7 – Mom Dad CuppaKids
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Real Life

Real LifeTravel

How Did We Get Here?

How we made the choice to travel the world with our kids. 

Mom Says:

We have a kind of quirky approach to getting shit done.

For days/weeks/months we noodle. We say things like “yeahhhhh, we should do that” or ” we are going to have to get that done soon”.  We discuss, we let it roll around our tongues, we check out how it feels.

Then one day, without any prompts we JUST DO IT. Not in an organized, excel spreadsheet, plan of action kind of way (wouldn’t that be amazing). No, we just go and let the day takes us where it may.

In the history of our relationship this has included buying a condo, buying cars, furniture, booking trips, selling our house and and now we can include travelling the globe.

Without a real plan, we just decide that today is the day we go for it. In that moment, we take the step in a new direction to our next part of this journey.

As we start socializing this plan of ours, we are experiencing polar opposite reactions depending on the person we are sharing the information with. Amidst the “That’s so awesome”,  “You will never regret this” and “This is the best gift you can give your children”, we have discovered a collection of people who’s own anxieties and fears give them cause to say things like “Well, we would never do this” , “Aren’t you worried about the safety of your kids/missing school/getting out of real estate/living with your spouse 24/7 and so on” and the best one “That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard”.

For a tiny while, when those fear mongers set their panic light to on, I let it become my panic. For a second it threw me & I got caught up in feeling negligent on not having a plan. But I took a step back and looked again at our resolve: the universe will give you what you need.

For us, our fear of NOT actually taking this opportunity is far GREATER than what might happen on the trip.

our fear of NOT actually taking this opportunity is far GREATER than what might happen on the trip.

Part of this adventure is that it will get messy. We will likely miss flights, end up in a crappy hotel rooms, go over budget or even get so frustrated with each other we walk out for a “break”. But its the messy we are most looking forward to. To teaching the kids how to bounce back when shit hits the fan and how to adapt when things don’t go anywhere near as planned. We believe THAT is the greatest thing we can teach our kids. And we believe that the connection this will bring us as a family is probably the best part of why we’re heading out.

Dad says:

The devil is in the details, or so they say. And who wants to live with the devils of this world anyhow?  You can overthink anything to the point of paralysis, and then nothing gets done. Ever.  I have sat in meetings where the only thing that was accomplished was to set the timing for the next meeting, and even that was hotly debated.  If all you do is wait, looking before you leap, you don’t go anywhere. ever.  And who wants that?  Why, not me, I say!

With that in mind, I seem to react badly to the naysayers of the world.  We haven’t made this decision without any study, or consideration of what might be the effect on our family.  And in the end, the decision is ours.  I find it odd that the unsolicited comments seem to stream forward without any thought as to whether they were wanted, or if they might have an unintended effect.  Maybe this is one of those times where I would love to hear “that is super incredible!”, whether you think it is incredibly stupid or wow adventurous.  Just sit back, let me fill in the blanks thus far, and then try and fall asleep figuring out if we are crazy after all…

So. Go forth, be bold, live with the consequences occasionally.  But sometimes, you won’t have to, because it all works out in the end.  And even if it doesn’t, well, oh the stories we will tell. N’est pas?

Bebold

 

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Real Life

Choice overload. How to combat our something shiny syndrome.

Dad says…

Choice. This is one thing we strive for, take for granted and enjoy. Hell, it’s even a civil liberty in some countries. This is not a pro/anti parenthood take, this is the freedom part I want to talk about. We are able to make a pantload of choices in our daily life, and sometimes it can get overwhelming.

We choose so much in this world: cereal type, be it flake or rounded. Center part or Bieber combover. Leafs or Habs. This is one great world we live in. We choose to be happy (or not). Choices on what to eat, what to wear, what to say, what to do. Choices, choices, choices. Except, sometimes, there is simply too much going on, and your choice becomes hard. And even when you make that choice, you have a hell of time sticking to it or remembering why you chose it in the first place. I, my internet friends, live with this affliction daily.
Reminds me of this, oldtimers…

Like right now. I am writing this blog post, and Jenn is working on some, well, work stuff. But I can tell you, she is taking a roundabout way of getting there. Snapchat, to show me a blender of kale. Oh, look, it’s someone working out by climbing stairs on facebook videos! Have you seen my T4? How do you integrate cells on this spreadsheet? What was the train called that we took in Scotland last summer?

I know what you’re thinking, this doesn’t seem like she’s really working. But she is, trust me. It is hard work, damn hard, because somehow she orbits back to the origin and gets it done. It’s like a ADHD boomerang, spinning towards shiny stuff only to finally return to its destination.
And if its not work for her, it sure as hell is for me (to even just watch her)…I think I will make a choice to take a break, watch a bit of the playoffs, and wait for her to circle back to remind me of what I chose to do before this all started.
Loaf of bread, quart of milk…wonder what the alligator king is up to?

Little Red Squirrel

 

Mom Says:

Have I told you how funny my husband is?

When it comes to getting stuff done we have VERY different ways of approaching it.

I grew up in a house that was a mix of OCD meets ADHD all in one. It is perfectly normal & in fact a constant source of amusement within our family to start one task, end up with 10 others and have a beautifully clean house as the result.

So I come by it naturally.

But then add the constant streaming of social media, Netflix and children and I often find my mind battling to just think straight let alone stay on task.

I am learning that if I need to get it all done, I HAVE to shut things down or put them away. On a deadline, my phone stays hidden (like in a drawer hidden). And if I really need to finish, all my active windows need to be closed. We are in a world these days of multi-tasking so much we can’t single-task. Thank you Chris Bailey & the Productivity Project for making me aware of this one.

Yes, my guy totally doesn’t get me but he will admit that despite my path, I always end up reaching my destination.

I met Chris at the Thrive Conference & he was absolutely brilliant. His book is blowing me away right now on how I need to do better approaching how to be more productive.

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Family Matters

I slept with the President: My affair with Netflix

or HOW TO EXPLAIN BINGE-WATCHING TO YOUR SPOUSE.

Dear Husband,

So I did it again.

I fell deeply down the rabbit hole of another series on Netflix and disappeared for days, weeks in fact.

OK, maybe I became a little crazed, wanting to discuss with you when I came to bed, watching on the iPad when doing laundry, on my phone during lessons for the kids and convincing you that I would watch “just one more episode” even though it was already 1 am. It couldn’t be helped love, it was JUST. SO. GOOD.

I weaved through storylines and seasons. I questioned character development and then COULDN’T believe that one of my favourite characters died (which in normal TV series watching is totally fine but in consecutive binge TV watching you are all “No, No, Nooooooooooo). I fed my hunger, clicking on that Play Next Episode over and over again, negotiating with myself an agreement that I would finish the end of THIS season and then I would stop.

I wanted to see what happened next so badly.

And then.

There was just nothing left.

There was no more Play Next Episodes because somehow, unrealized by me, we had got to the end.

WHAT??!!!

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

I felt the let down. Bereft.

Like I accidentally let go of the balloon I was holding and watched it float away up, up into the sky.

Sad Panda.

Sad Panda for Netflix binge show watching
Sigh…How can there be no more episodes on Netflix?

The BINGE

I know you don’t get it.

I know you think its an addiction.

It might be.

But its Netflix…& its called Binge-watching for a reason.

You see, these characters become my people every night.  I LIVE their lives right along side them because I see them for so many hours a day. They are my answer to you watching hockey, football, basketball and golf. And I get lost, immersed in the day to day activities of the clink; the manipulative, underbelly world of Washington or the trials and tribulations of teenage angst. But the truth is, I sincerely LOVE getting lost.

The first step in addiction is admitting you have a problem.

So to clear the air, I will confess the following:

  • I think about the show even when it’s not on.
  • I have fantasized about what it would be like to sleep with the President of the United States.
  • I have racked my brain on who A might be
  • I’ve tried deciding which character’s clothes I would choose
  • I lament characters dying & think of how vicious ancient times must have been (Yet so sexy)
  • I’ve questioned if we have enough water and what we should do for an apocalypse plan
  • I’ve thought about what I would do to survive in prison.
  • I’ve even pondered how the hell a diet of wine and popcorn keeps a gal looking so slim. I mean I feel like if I tried that I would just be fat and really really constipated.
Oh my god. How could you say no to this? Photo Credit: Charisma
Oh my god. How could you say no to this?
Photo Credit: Charisma

What Netflix has done is found writers who have created quality, exciting storylines and curated enticing programming in an aftermath of stupid reality television. They have developed the perfect user experience that makes you feel like you are saying “Hello Old Friend” the minute you settle down for a visit and I really really love it.

Yes as I read this, it might seem more like an addiction but its not one I’m ready to go into rehab for any of it just yet. Perhaps we can Netflix & Chill a bit and you will be a little more open to how beneficial Netflix can be in our relationship?

Love

The Wife

P.S. I have also thought about sleeping with Tim Riggins.

And Daryl. And Jake Ballard.

And maybe a few guys from Game of Thrones.

Ok I’ll stop now.

I am most definitely on "Team Riggins"
I am most definitely on “Team Riggins”.                                                         Photo Credit: The Frisky

Dad says:

For the record, I..

A) have no idea who these people are, but why no girls?

B) am ok with it, just not all at once and can i please get back to watching regular season hockey…EVERY game counts!

NB: I have no affiliation with Netflix. This is not a sponsored post. This has been a hot button in our house and I know after a few nights out with girlfriends I am not the only one who needs to find a fan or take a cold shower after a steamy episode of whatever you are watching.

Let’s Be Real ..You are not alone. 

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Family Matters

WHAT I LOST. WHAT I FOUND.

THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP

My husband has a saying.

“You put the feelings in a jar…you push them way way down…& then you close the lid”….

For me, this past year not only popped off the lid. It kind of shattered the whole jar.

One of the hardest years of my life and probably one of the best in teaching me how to live.

I felt a tremendous sense of loss this year. From losing a dear friend, business relationships, money, trust, beliefs, and faith: this year suitably kicked my ass on all fronts.

But what I realize now is that every time I have felt lost, I ultimately ending up being found. Whether it was the discovery on how I function, behave or think, each loss gave me new perspective & priority on what is important in my life.

Friends & Family who always let me know they have my back
Friends & Family who always let me know they have my back

What I lost. 

Connection.

Grief hit deep and hard when one of my closest friends passed away this year. Her loss was cataclysmic and admittedly I lost my way. I retreated. I was deeply blue. I felt alone. I felt disappointed by a number of my friends. Friends who I had been there for, listened to, nursed, and supported through a number of trying times in their lives didn’t seem to be there when I needed them the most.

Here’s the kicker. 

I forgot to tell them.

And they forgot to ask.

With the advance of social media, we assume we know what is going on in each others lives because of the 1% of our lives we have posted that day. It has become the norm that a “like”, a <hugs>, a <3 means that as a friend you are thinking of someone. When people see you smiling, travelling, experiencing life on social, they automatically assume you are OK.

Not so my friends. So not so.

I hadn’t wanted to burden them with my stuff, and yet they were going through a ton of stuff on their own that they too didn’t want to burden anybody with. Damn you Facebook.

By managing friendships through social, we have lost the ability to look into friend’s eyes and see what is really happening in their world. To sense their hesitation when you ask what’s up. To see the tears well up when you ask if they’re ok.

These peeps always make me smile
These peeps always make me smile

What I found. 

When I started actively reaching out, I found that I still have those friends. Those relationships are in the core of my heart. Those friendships are solid. They have carried me over the hardest hills and helped me land on the other side.

The biggest priority for me now is to renew friendships in person and value the relationships I have cultivated. To make plans (& stick to those plans) to spend quality time in person. To show them my love & my gratitude. To take the time to let writers/friends know their words affected me. To share impact moments. To show appreciation, practice kindness, and spread joy.

Seeing, listening & being with each other in real life. Laughing, crying, hugging and supporting each other through ALL our times.

IMG_0202
Laughter & friendship are my best medicine

That connection point for me is the most essential to renew in my life and I simply can’t wait to catch up.

Heart made of fire, heart in flames, the fire in the shape of heart

 

 

 

 

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Family Matters

The Perfect Family Present. Ross Petty’s Peter Pan #PettyPan20

If you are in need of a gift for a family in your life or you yourself are looking for a guffaw, a giggle, or a moment of pure unadulterated delight..let me guide you to the perfect present.

The BEST gift you could possibly give this year is laughter. Bring sheer joy & smiles to family on your list by giving them tickets to Ross Petty’s Peter Pan in Wonderland at the Elgin Theatre in Toronto.  

I can’t say enough about how truly awesome it was.

Go. Just Go.

Click here. Buy tickets.

NOW.

You have to. Trust me.

We had the pleasure of attending our first ever Ross Petty experience this past week, thanks to our friends at the Yummy Mummy Club. I had heard great things about Ross Petty shows in the past but I didn’t really understand the wonderfully interactive and unique experience it provided until we went ourselves.

I thought we were going for the kids. What I didn’t realize was how much fun and entertainment it would be for us adults. I can say in earnest that I was in tears twice during the show for two entirely different reasons.

The first was from the humour of the performance. The writing was crisp, the innuendo plentiful and  the characters were fabulous. Jessica Holmes, who played an epic Queen of Hearts along with Dan Chameroy, Ross Petty and Anthony MacPherson gave both my abs and my eyes an awesome workout.

RossPetty_PeterPan2015_680-460x262

The second was that I didn’t expect the beautiful reaction our children would have to the show, especially our son. Having a child with Autism lends itself to checking for the nearest exit points at a venue, just in case you need to make a fairly quick escape. I will admit to usually surveying the people around us to see where the expectation for “normal” behaviour might come into play and cringing if it looks like there is potential where patrons might get annoyed.

I was worried for no reason. The casual and interactive nature of the program meant that kids were encouraged to be part of the show, and were we ever. My son enjoyed the participation and music so much he was literally bouncing out of his seat to dance.  The mood of the people around our seats were jovial and relaxed. By intermission we received comments on how much they enjoyed watching our son’s joy (as did we).  Of course I cried. I was touched that they took the time to say something and beyond grateful that Ross Petty makes the occasion such an inclusive experience.

For the record, we were seated on the Orchestra level, Row V, Seats 32-36. It is THE perfect spot for special needs. It’s on the aisle and right in front of one single seat and a pillar with a direct beeline to the stairs if suddenly needed.

Thank you Ross and thank you Erica for giving US the perfect family present to start the holidays with.

Sincerely, think about making this moment a special one of yours this year.

You won’t regret it.

 Ticket prices range from $27-$99 Adults • $27-$69 Children under 12 

Get your tickets NOW for PETER PAN, The 20th Anniversary Family Musical PANto-monium, running at the Elgin Theatre from November 27, 2015 – January 3, 2016.

NB: No expectations were asked of me to write a post or support this show. I sincerely loved it SO much I just HAD to tell you all about it.

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Family Matters

Look at me Adulting..

I know I'm an adult I just don't like thinking like one

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Sometimes, (oft times) I get surprised about where I am in life.

I can’t quite comprehend how I am in my forties given that a moment ago I was in high school.

I don’t feel like an adult.

I can’t wrap my head around that I am married, that I’ve have been left in charge of these humans and are responsible for helping shape and mold their life. Wow. That’s heavy.

spencer the early years 185

MY CHILD

On my life’s soundtrack, I can pin point the exact song I was listening to when that “Moment” happened and I felt like it wasn’t just about me anymore. It was early early in the morning and I was up trying to feed our 2 day old bundle of joy in the hospital. I was overwhelmed. The whole breastfeeding thing wasn’t working and I was listening to Sarah McLachlan’s Ice Cream to try to create a “calm/nurturing environment”. I was petrified. No part of me felt grown up enough to take care of this little one. No part of me felt old enough or wise enough to know what to do.

No one gets guilt & fear like a parent

As I listened to the song, the lyrics hit me hard. All I could think in that moment was “its you and me kid.” In this for a lifetime.

The mama bear in me made that commitment, then and there that I would always, always be there to protect these children of mine.

Ice Cream Lyrics

Your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that I’ve tried
oh love is better than chocolate
everyone here knows how to cry
it’s a long way down
it’s a long way down
it’s a long way down to the place
where we started from…

MY HUSBAND

We had a moment last year when my favorite man (yes that would be Chris, the hubs) jumped off the dock and accidentally impaled his foot with a buried piece of T bar at the cottage. I had just left, oblivious and on my way to the airport to head out of town. I got notice as I was at the airport that he had been hurt and was simply heading up to the next town for stitches. What I wasn’t told until I returned home is that the shock & pain of the injury caused him to pass out, our friends finding him face down in the water, unconscious.

They endured the frightening challenge of having to pull him out and revive him. When it all came out in the wash, my security blanket felt a little less secure. A matter of minutes and the urgency of our friends coming to his aide was truly what made the difference.

Our little girl is still doing this. 8 years later
Our little girl is still doing this. 8 years later

MY FRIEND

I have always looked at Life Insurance as one of those checkboxes you tick off to make sure you are covered. This year though, everything changed. One of my dearest friends passed away in May and I watched first hand the importance of how life insurance played a role. We all believe that we won’t need it until we grow old but witnessing it in this light made me realize how essential is it to have something in place, how important it is to make sure those we love are covered.

When presented with the opportunity to work with Manulife on this, I was all in. I was really interested in  checking out the Cover Me application form to see how easy it was to apply.  Simple and fast, it has made me feel better to add just a little more coverage, to be sure those I love are well looked after. I timed it, it took less than 1 minute. Perfect even in my I-don’t-have-time-for-this excuse book.

We are going to be talking about life’s moments when you realized it wasn’t just you anymore tonight on an @Manulife #BeCovered Twitter Chat at 9pm EST, 6pm PST.

I encourage you to join us to talk about this essential part of life and adulting.

@Manulife Twitter Chat Co-Hosted by @CommonCentsMom and myself @HartGalla
@Manulife Twitter Chat Co-Hosted by @CommonCentsMom and myself @HartGalla

 

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