Real Life

Pillow fight- My wife’s addiction

by Jenn & Chris on November 21, 2014

Dad Says:

Ok. It’s happened. I am sure, well relatively sure, that every guy goes into marriage thinking that he will maintain that little element of cool. That maybe a man cave will suffice for the real thing, that caveman logic will somehow prevail and leave you a bit of that control over your environment.

The changes come slowly. A seasonal hand towel, festive for the winter season. A scented candle, that certainly does change the mood of a room. And who among us hasn’t let go that 1981 double album of the Pink Floyd The Wall from Japan, cause really you don’t even have a turntable anymore…

All this makes sense at the time and you don’t fight it. Then slowly, inexorably, the grip tightens. Pantone becomes a colour wheel you are familiar with. You know, without even thinking, that a change in throw pillow covers would instantly brighten up a room.

Then this.

Nothing wrong on the surface. In fact, it looks pretty good actually, with a definitive use of colour, shape and texture to create an appealing environment. But then comes a keener observation: the actual space used for sleeping has been tipped in favour of throws and accent pillows, none of which provide any level of warmth or comfort! We are now 2/3rds overwhelmed with fashion over function. Hell, it takes me 2 minutes to strip this thing down to a usable space at bed time, don’t even ask about a nap. The re-assemble in the morning has totally thrown off routine, and Gawd forbid if I miss a green/texture/sham arrangement and have to start all over…I will be lucky to get the kids to school for lunch.

I know that marriage is compromise. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is puny. I know all these things. But at the end of the day, I really just want a place to lay my head without fear of impalement from the latest accessory. Too much? I don’t think so. After all, I didn’t get a say in the new couch fabric and I have no idea what just showed up from Urban Barn, but I am sure it is in my colour compliment so I should make out ok…

Mom Says:

For a guy who seems oblivious to the subtleties of married life, I am slightly in a state of shock that this has even registered on his radar. I honestly don’t even know how to argue this. Except maybe all the pillows will just go right on top of him when we head to bed…or we might just have a pillow fight.

Family Matters

What I see Dear Daughter

by Jenn & Chris on November 18, 2014

Dear Daughter,

As you sneak into our room for yet another night of us playing musical beds, I know I should be convincing you to stay in your own.

With your freezing cold feet, kidney kicking and tendency to lay sideways which drives both Daddy and I to the brink of crazy, you force our hand. Sometimes one of us moves to another room..sometimes both..and there you are.. cozy as a bug, snuggled down in the big duvet.

You are one smart cookie.

Where else should you go when you love being warm and toasty and cuddly? (For the record, I love cuddling up to you too) Is it worth pushing you back to your bed when we know that this habit will be stopping soon anyways?

You see dear daughter, you are growing up so very fast. I blinked and you went from little girl to an O..M…G… trying to find your place in the world, Moooooommm, cuddling with mom in public is just too public, boy crushes and bully stuff, the ebbs and flows of female friendships, the you’re-not-coming-to-my-birthdays, the trying to keep quiet in class and focusing, the competitive at sports and working to make the team, learning responsibility chores, the teenager-esque schoolager.

You are giving Daddy and I some serious grey hairs (if only daddy had hair).

As much as I think we have a great ability to talk things through, I see in your eyes already a wavering self-confidence.

You are 7.

I see those intense personalities in your life and how mean they can get with you. I find it hard to find that balance between explaining that many of them are dealing with their own issues and wanting to punch them in the face.

I see you struggle to understand Autism and why your brother acts so differently, pained one day when he is laughed at and embarrassed the next when the “cool kids” point out that he’s your brother.

I see you feeling caught. Mommy & Daddy talk about the importance of having each others back and protecting one another but I see you wonder where your support is? Why doesn’t he have your back? (We are working on it trust me) I see you burning hot with frustration more often than not lately in how he doesn’t adhere to typical aged kid behaviour.

I see you trying to be that strong girl and the beauty of your heart when you fight on behalf of the underdog. I will keep filling your bucket with reinforcements on that one but I need you to believe it yourself more because you are most definitely strong.

I see you challenged by the desire to be part of the beauty squad. Those friends who are already into make-up, hair and looking so fancy. You think Mommy & Daddy totally don’t get it when we start talking about the importance of natural beauty and inner beauty. I see you rolling your eyes.

I see you having to deal with so much of this when it feels all together way too early.

I see us as parents wanting to instill Kindness, Strength, Confidence, Loyalty, Work ethic as core values in your world and I see you decidedly convinced that we are aliens from another planet.

All we want is for you to see what we see. A beautiful, kind, protective, effervescent young girl…who steals the covers.

Wonderkid. Wishing you all the superpowers you can muster

Healthy Living

Peace & the need for nature

by Jenn & Chris on November 18, 2014

Mom Says:

I sit here watching the snow softly stream to the ground below. The retro notes of Madonna’s La Isla Bonita playing softly in the background and a steaming cup of cappuccino on the table.

When my dear friend, Leigh suggested getting out of town for a day or two I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I love the bustle of Toronto, love the access to culture, sports, entertainment, the vibe and the energy. It’s fast. It’s dynamic.

Recently I have started recognizing that without the influence of nature in my world, I start to feel claustrophobic. The cottage affords us that reconnection piece throughout the summer and fall but as winter starts peaking through the clouds I crave that time away to just breathe.

My view - Briars Resort — My view – Briars Resort

I was inspired by a post Erin had written on All the Little Lights earlier in the year about checking into a hotel to give her some space for writing and time for herself to regroup. I have to admit at first I looked at her post enviously, taking a day a month to regroup for yourself seemed…luxurious but then as I thought about it, I started thinking about how much more present I could be if I took the time to take care of myself.

Someone recently mentioned to me the fact that we budget money to pay for maintenance on our car and yet we tend to not provide ourselves the same budget for maintenance. Hmmmm?

We rely more heavily on our body, our mind and and our hearts than we do on our car & yet we don’t stop to think of what our maintenance schedule looks like.

Guys are great at Boys weekends and Fishing trips. Yes I am TOTALLY generalizing but I am talking from my personal experience. Our exchange in terms of him heading out for the weekend tends to go like so. Chris will simply say “Hey, thinking of a boys weekend” at which point I say “Hey. Cool” .

I am really great at being active in the building business, networking and charity events kind of space. When I start to think about time for myself, like actual downtime and relaxing, I think of how often I have been away and then promptly sabotage the idea.

Why do I do that?

What misdirected sense of responsibility drives me to replace healthy & well for crazy & overwhelmed?

Thing is, I have a pretty stellar husband who almost forces me to make the time for maintenance. When I mentioned the chance to head up to Briars Resort (which by the way is beautifully out of the way, full of nature and just on the edge of Lake Simcoe) to find a little peace spot for writing and focus on some strategy plans, he didn’t even question.

He just said GO.

Dad Says:

Illustrious husband weighs in: Yes, most of the accolades are true. and when it comes to mental self-preservation, I have an edge. More often than not I get the cranial shutdown opportunity of tickle fights, cookie creation, pancake production. Hells ya I wanna build a snowman Elsa! I think a forced attendance at the ‘simple thing’ class sets me up for a calmer mind. That said, I have also heard the question ‘Do you take ANYTHING seriously? Seriously?!’ Well, I try not to. And when it comes to an opportunity to get away to front load a bit of boy time, I am so in.

These events are seldom as ridiculous as they seem. The get-togethers have make believe themes, like gentlemen’s book club or the laborious sounding ‘take the snow off the roof at the cottage’, but in reality its a bunch of lads chillin’. We eat well, drink well, make up better endings to stories we have all told and heard before. It’s an interesting dynamic; everybody finds their own way of letting go. A walk in the snow, staring at the fire, too many adult beverages, everyone finds their way. Sorry ladies. Good to be a guy I guess. Oh, and we talk about how awesome our wives are. That’s a given. Regardless, in order for us to stay healthy and strong together, we got each others back in those moments when we look forward to being apart.

A winter wonderland walk through the trails at Briars Resort

Family Matters

Tea Cup Ornament & memories of a loved one

by Jenn & Chris on November 17, 2014

The tree went up this weekend. This could very well be a record breaker.

With a hubs who isn’t quite as “Christmassy” as I am, normally all Christmas decorations are sequestered until Grey Cup weekend. A beautiful tradition developed over our years together that entails putting on a crock pot of chilli, watching the game and getting ready for the holidays.

But something had to give this weekend. Whether it’s the intensity of combined projects or the intensity of the internet, I was feeling like I need a bit of Christmas Cheer to lift my spirits.

You see for me, Christmas is truly THE most wonderful time of year. It feeds my soul and restores my faith in humanity.

I love that people think more about giving. That social good becomes a higher priority and kindness for the most part leads the way. Don’t you think we need a bit of that these days?

When I think of Christmas, I think of my grandmother. The matriarch of our family and the one who so vividly instilled the importance of family and Christmas spirit in all of us. This will be the first Christmas without her and it feels all kinds of bittersweet.

I have small reminders around the house of her. A little decor piece here, a photo, a group of teacups in the cupboard, her sweater hanging on the back of my door and her jewellery I wear often when I want to feel close. I was trying to figure out a way to keep her close in our Christmas celebrations this year and then it hit me. If there was something that so intently reminded me of my Grandmother, it was her Tea Cup. Always one to stand on ceremony, it was essential to her to drink her Cuppa in a china cup. (A mug would most certainly not do). Those tea cups remind me of talks around her dining room table, of her beautiful smile and her way of letting me know that bar none, she was in my corner.

So rather than keeping the collection of tea cups I got when she passed away tucked away in the cupboard, I thought what better way to have her nearby than to turn those teacups into Christmas ornaments. A simple ribbon and voila, you have a fun vintage ornament to add to your tree.

And a perfectly simple space to remember a loved one.

How to make a TEA CUP Ornament

(or ornament remembering a loved one)

– We simply took beautiful ribbon to tie a bow around our tea cup and then secured the ribbon both to the item and to the tree so that is was as safe as possible. Anything can be used. It simply depends on how creative you get & how much fun you have on how to present it.

Other ideas:

Favourite book
Glasses
Jewellery
Binoculars
Sweater turned pillow
Cutlery

Here’s hoping your Christmas Cheer is ready to kick into high gear.

Family Matters

Curly Hair Cues & To Do’s

by Jenn & Chris on November 13, 2014

It was like finding a secret club that took 40 years to discover.

I have curly corkscrew hair. On any given day I can do an epic impression of Donna Summer, Carrot Top or Macy Gray depending on which way the wind blows, the humidity, the full moon or god knows what.

When it comes to beauty and creating my own fancy hairstyle I am a complete luddite. I appreciate the curls because it gives me some sorta style when I have none. Albeit the style has been the same for 20 years, at least it has some volume.

I have some wonderful social media friends whose curly hair I simply adore.

So when one of them mentioned places like the Curly Hair Institute and the Curl Ambassadors, I was flummoxed. What? Hold on. There is a salon specifically and only for us curly hair peeps?

I was in need of a refresh cut and had just seen the post not too long ago, so with a cup of skepticism I set out the Curl Ambassadors in Vaughan to try out this whole new “Curl Process”.

The ambience was wonderfully salon-esque, the stylist suitably expert in curly hair antics.

My A-ha moment of discovery once I got there..one that truly blew my mind, was that I was doing about a dozen things wrong in caring for my hair.

I can’t remember all of them (because that’s why you go to places like The Curl Ambassadors) but here are a few things I picked up while I was there that I NEVER knew:

1) You are supposed to cut curly hair dry instead of wet

2) You don’t shampoo curly hair every time you wash your hair. You just use conditioner otherwise it dries it out. (No kidding!)

3) You should use a clarifying shampoo once a week to get rid of all the product build up then condition, then add a leave in conditioner

4) You put styling product in your hair while your hair is still sopping wet (as in while you are still in the shower)

5) You shouldn’t use a brush (which I have for life eternal) but instead work out knots with a wide tooth comb or your fingers

My curls when I got out- Curl Ambassadors

6) You do not dry curly hair with a towel (my harem look I guess is going away). Instead you use paper towel or a microfiber towel

7) You scrunch upside down from root down to wring out your hair but you softly push up your curls upside down when you are drying (with a diffuser)

8) To get added volume you put clips at the top part of your hair and let them stay there while you dry upside down

9) Try not to use hairspray as it also tends to dry out hair out

10) Silicone based products are not our friends.

For those wanting the scoop, they used the DevaCurl No Poo Conditioning Cleanser, DevaCurl One Condition, DevaCurl B’Leave-in and for extra styling Kinky-Curly Original Curling Custard.

http://store.devachansalon.com/-strse-128/Curl-In-Motion-Trial/Detail.bok — There is a Trial & Travel Pack on sale for $29.95 right now

With these new products I am seeing my curls last 2- 3 days without frizz which is quite a bit longer than my past Fro Frolicks.

So if you are looking for a little help from your friends, All in All I would give an A+ for the Curl Ambassadors experience.

Family Matters

Missed Connections and Corrections

by Jenn & Chris on November 11, 2014

Dad Says:

Ok, so here is the deal. About an hour ago, Jenn came home with a sore neck and shoulder, needing a fix after a long day of work. So here is the solution I proposed. Hot soak in an Epsom salt bath, massage, stretch, relax.. I even drew the bath, nice and steamy to loosen up the muscles. Pretty sweet deal I’d say, even if I wasn’t the heart-throb who had implemented the plan.

Again, an hour ago. The water is now somewhere in the lukewarm range which is nowhere near as therapeutic, as Jenn decided that file management was more important. I could hear the files moving around with the Mac soundtrack tracking each move. Thank smokey I hadn’t lit an aromatherapy candle, the whole house could have gone up if it was left alone that long.

Now, I know that stuff needs to be addressed. BUT. If you are suffering some physical discomfort probably related to the posture formed by working on the computer, and someone who loves you proposes a kick ass solution, stop working on the computer and embrace the cure. This is one of those times you need to listen to your hubby and take a break from the world. Admittedly I am not always in the right, but come on, this is a bit of a no-brainer.

I am aware how much you put into every day. I am in awe of your stamina and work ethic as you jump in feet first to any number of appointments, duties and required attendance. I am also appreciating that you hate filing and paperwork, and the fact that you are organizing vs creative must be killing you and that the demon called administrative duty is being conquered.

The files will wait, at least until you towel off.

Mom Says:

He’s right you know.

But I have an answer to the above. It was taught it many years ago and it dramatically shifted the way I look at how I work and how others do as well.

You see, there are two types of communication cultures in the world. Monochronic and Polychronic.

Monochronic people put emphasis on time. They are always early. They do one thing at a time. They make lists of lists and get everything accomplished well before the deadline looms.

Polychronic people thrive in a space of organized chaos.They are the multi-taskers. They work to deadline and find they do their best work under pressure. They tend to be late.

Monochronic focuses on the job. Polychronic focuses on relationships & connections.

You will often see Capricorns and Virgos as Monochronic.

Libras and Geminis are Polychronic.

I AM POLYCHRONIC. CHRIS IS MONOCHRONIC.

<!-- HTML Credit Code for Can Stock Photo--> <a href="http://www.canstockphoto.com">(c) Can Stock Photo</a> — © Can Stock Photo Inc. / HaywireMedia

We frustrate the crap out of Monochronic peeps.

The best way to support a Monochronic in the work place is to publish information well in advance, clearly lay out expectations, provide a detailed list of exactly what you would like.

Best way to deal with a Polychronic in the work place is when you see them organizing their paper clips and cleaning out their desk in the midst of an insanely stressful deadline, let them be. Polychronics love being creative but often times they need to clear their head. They do so by organizing a part of their space which helps clear the cobwebs to a really solid stream of working.

So with that, I have a major proposal due tomorrow that I am having trouble wrapping my head around just how big, how unique and how awesome of an idea we want to present. Ergo, the hubs found me deleting files and cleaning up my desktop as my go to solution in clearing the way & writing up a stellar project.

I don’t want to be working that hard (trust me). I would rather be working on relationships.

But I think the above is a hint I need to go check in on mine.

We would love to know. Are you Polychronic or Monochronic?

The many moods of quarantine.

Maldives on a Budget

The Naked Truth.

How to #KonMari your Digital Media

Gift Guide for the Adventure Traveler/Camper

Can Social Media and Mindfulness Share the Same Space?

Pillow fight- My wife’s addiction

What I see Dear Daughter

Peace & the need for nature

Tea Cup Ornament & memories of a loved one

Curly Hair Cues & To Do’s

Missed Connections and Corrections