Jenn & Chris – Page 8 – Mom Dad CuppaKids

12 Ways to Survive Disney With Special Needs

by Jenn & Chris on May 20, 2016

For many parents the thought of a Disney Vacation brings visions of apocalyptic temper tantrums, crying, hungry and over-tired children.

For parents of children with special needs top that with a tenfold of anticipated stress and anxiety that accompanies the thought of maintaining a manageable environment while “doing Disney”.

Our main goal was to make this trip as easy and enjoyable as possible. Thinking through the many catalysts that could trigger a breakdown & the tools that we could use to manage them, here’s how to take the cringe-worthy worry out, survive Disney with special needs, and keeping everyone smiling.

12 Ways to Survive Disney with Special Needs

1) Teach Spontaneity

I know this sounds kind of ridiculous but kids with Special Needs (especially ASD/Autism) thrive on routine. Yet life doesn’t adhere to a particular schedule no matter how hard you try. We spent a lot of time prior to the trip working on “what if’s” and “Big deal or little deal?” scenarios. Our goal was to get the kids ready for plans not working out the way they should and keep expectations of routine low.

Kids traveling by boat to Disney — Another way to get to & from Disney is by boat from the Polynesian

2) Be Strategic

As we started planning, we looked at the busiest traffic times of Disney and chose one of the lowest of the year. This allowed for low volume line-ups and often discounts on packages and accommodations. We think this is one of the MOST important parts of being able to survive Disney with special needs.

For the record, we went Sun-Thurs the first week of November which rarely saw a line-up over 20-30 minutes & allowed us to experience many more rides in a day.

3) Make it EASY

We booked our flights and hotel using Expedia, which offered comparisons and made choosing simple and quick. To save money, we flew out of Buffalo to Orlando, and then took the Magic Bus to Disney. This direct and comfortable shuttle system took our luggage straight to our hotel, and our bags were delivered shortly after we arrived directly to our room. This made getting through the airport a snap, which is rather incredible and definitely something I recommend for anyone travelling with children, special needs or not.

4) Stay on site

We chose The Polynesian Resort for a couple of key reasons. The first, is that it is one of three on-site resorts that connect to Disney via the Monorail. We got an incredible deal for a multi-family room making access to and from the park quick, easy and fun throughout the day. It is also the best resort to watch the fireworks nightly with a perfect sightline to the show without the overwhelming loudness and crowds inside the park.

Bedroom at The Polynesian Resort - Disney World — Our Multi-Generational Room included 2 Double Beds, A pull out, Fridge and Microwave

5) The Magicband

Shopping at the Animal Kingdom - Disney World — Shopping inside Disney World was an easy distraction

Staying on site also gives you access to the Magicband that goes with booking at any Disney World Resort. Truly one of Disney’s smartest additions to the park and makes life so simple with customized Disney experience. Your Magicband is everything. From your hotel room key, FastPass+ access, your wallet throughout all the resorts and Disney World. You are able to purchase food, drinks & souvenirs in Disney using the Magicband which made walking around so much easier.

6) FastPass +

The FastPass is a god-send for special needs parenting as it allows you to pre-book 3 rides in advance each day. This can be done via the Disney app, and provides a specific time you are “reserved” to head to the ride. Any opportunity where we can prevent angsty waiting is incredibly powerful in our world.

*FastPass+ bookings can be done 30 Days in advance.

7) Disney Parks Disability Access Service Card (DAS Card)

The DAS Card allows persons with special needs, be they apparent or not, to arrive at a ride and receive a time to come back. So instead of standing in line for an hour, we could leave and come back later, which reduced our wait time in the actual line considerably, and gave us the flexibility to do other things that would contribute to our Disney visit in a positive way. We got ice cream, saw characters, took a bathroom break, shopped and occasionally just sat down for a rest till it was time to go back to the ride.

Grand Entrance & Intro show - Disney World — Just past this entrance to the left is the area you apply for a DAS, to the right is Mickey Mouse

Finding Fairy Godmother just behind the castle - Disney World, survive Disney with special needs — You will find Fairy Godmother just past the castle

8) Take Breaks

Staying so close also allowed us to choose when we were going to take some “breaks”, heading back to the hotel pool to refresh and regroup, providing some peaceful downtime before we headed back to the park. With the Monorail 5-7 minutes to the park, it allowed us the flexibility we needed to manage those moments where we thought we were hitting our limit.

9) Use meal/snack times as distractors

One of the most difficult and often stressful parts of traveling with a special needs child is eating out, with unfamiliar foods and lack of routine, so we opted out of the meal plan to avoid the food lines, choosing instead to rent a car and drive to a nearby Target for familiar and healthy lunch/snacking foods. The fridge in our room allowed for us to start every day with a quiet, calm breakfast and we used food in the park to keep the kids busy while waiting.

10) Noise cancelling headphones

A number of the rides at Disney can be loud and jarring, so we packed a pair of noise cancelling headphones in the event that things got too much. This gave our son a chance to deeply cushion the incredible sensory experiences going on around him.

survive Disney with special needs, Noise-Cancelling Headphones are the perfect solution for Autism at Disney — The headphones worked amazing at places like the Stunt Show at Disney Studios.

11) Have a flexible plan

Getting to the park early and choosing the most popular rides first was our strategy and we were able to enjoy them without ridiculous wait times. We tried to keep the rides balanced to reduce sensory overload, and if we did a closed, fast paced or loud ride, we would follow it with an open and slower ride that would be more relaxing and lower growing excitement levels. There will be moments you need to adapt. Just stay checked in with your kids and see what they can handle.

12) Breathe & Enjoy

The attendants and everyone we encountered at Disney were amazing, with customer experience obviously a priority. This is supposed to be fun for the whole family. So do as best you can to plan ahead, let routine go, let it flow, enjoy the moments and you too can have a Magical Disney vacation.

Real Life Travel

How Did We Get Here?

by Jenn & Chris on April 28, 2016

How we made the choice to travel the world with our kids.

Mom Says:

We have a kind of quirky approach to getting shit done.

For days/weeks/months we noodle. We say things like “yeahhhhh, we should do that” or ” we are going to have to get that done soon”. We discuss, we let it roll around our tongues, we check out how it feels.

Then one day, without any prompts we JUST DO IT. Not in an organized, excel spreadsheet, plan of action kind of way (wouldn’t that be amazing). No, we just go and let the day takes us where it may.

In the history of our relationship this has included buying a condo, buying cars, furniture, booking trips, selling our house and and now we can include travelling the globe.

Without a real plan, we just decide that today is the day we go for it. In that moment, we take the step in a new direction to our next part of this journey.

As we start socializing this plan of ours, we are experiencing polar opposite reactions depending on the person we are sharing the information with. Amidst the “That’s so awesome”, “You will never regret this” and “This is the best gift you can give your children”, we have discovered a collection of people who’s own anxieties and fears give them cause to say things like “Well, we would never do this” , “Aren’t you worried about the safety of your kids/missing school/getting out of real estate/living with your spouse 24/7 and so on” and the best one “That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard”.

For a tiny while, when those fear mongers set their panic light to on, I let it become my panic. For a second it threw me & I got caught up in feeling negligent on not having a plan. But I took a step back and looked again at our resolve: the universe will give you what you need.

For us, our fear of NOT actually taking this opportunity is far GREATER than what might happen on the trip.

Part of this adventure is that it will get messy. We will likely miss flights, end up in a crappy hotel rooms, go over budget or even get so frustrated with each other we walk out for a “break”. But its the messy we are most looking forward to. To teaching the kids how to bounce back when shit hits the fan and how to adapt when things don’t go anywhere near as planned. We believe THAT is the greatest thing we can teach our kids. And we believe that the connection this will bring us as a family is probably the best part of why we’re heading out.

Dad says:

The devil is in the details, or so they say. And who wants to live with the devils of this world anyhow? You can overthink anything to the point of paralysis, and then nothing gets done. Ever. I have sat in meetings where the only thing that was accomplished was to set the timing for the next meeting, and even that was hotly debated. If all you do is wait, looking before you leap, you don’t go anywhere. ever. And who wants that? Why, not me, I say!

With that in mind, I seem to react badly to the naysayers of the world. We haven’t made this decision without any study, or consideration of what might be the effect on our family. And in the end, the decision is ours. I find it odd that the unsolicited comments seem to stream forward without any thought as to whether they were wanted, or if they might have an unintended effect. Maybe this is one of those times where I would love to hear “that is super incredible!”, whether you think it is incredibly stupid or wow adventurous. Just sit back, let me fill in the blanks thus far, and then try and fall asleep figuring out if we are crazy after all…

So. Go forth, be bold, live with the consequences occasionally. But sometimes, you won’t have to, because it all works out in the end. And even if it doesn’t, well, oh the stories we will tell. N’est pas?

Real Life

Choice overload. How to combat our something shiny syndrome.

by Jenn & Chris on April 20, 2016

Dad says…

Choice. This is one thing we strive for, take for granted and enjoy. Hell, it’s even a civil liberty in some countries. This is not a pro/anti parenthood take, this is the freedom part I want to talk about. We are able to make a pantload of choices in our daily life, and sometimes it can get overwhelming.

We choose so much in this world: cereal type, be it flake or rounded. Center part or Bieber combover. Leafs or Habs. This is one great world we live in. We choose to be happy (or not). Choices on what to eat, what to wear, what to say, what to do. Choices, choices, choices. Except, sometimes, there is simply too much going on, and your choice becomes hard. And even when you make that choice, you have a hell of time sticking to it or remembering why you chose it in the first place. I, my internet friends, live with this affliction daily.
Reminds me of this, oldtimers…

Like right now. I am writing this blog post, and Jenn is working on some, well, work stuff. But I can tell you, she is taking a roundabout way of getting there. Snapchat, to show me a blender of kale. Oh, look, it’s someone working out by climbing stairs on facebook videos! Have you seen my T4? How do you integrate cells on this spreadsheet? What was the train called that we took in Scotland last summer?

I know what you’re thinking, this doesn’t seem like she’s really working. But she is, trust me. It is hard work, damn hard, because somehow she orbits back to the origin and gets it done. It’s like a ADHD boomerang, spinning towards shiny stuff only to finally return to its destination.
And if its not work for her, it sure as hell is for me (to even just watch her)…I think I will make a choice to take a break, watch a bit of the playoffs, and wait for her to circle back to remind me of what I chose to do before this all started.
Loaf of bread, quart of milk…wonder what the alligator king is up to?

Mom Says:

Have I told you how funny my husband is?

When it comes to getting stuff done we have VERY different ways of approaching it.

I grew up in a house that was a mix of OCD meets ADHD all in one. It is perfectly normal & in fact a constant source of amusement within our family to start one task, end up with 10 others and have a beautifully clean house as the result.

So I come by it naturally.

But then add the constant streaming of social media, Netflix and children and I often find my mind battling to just think straight let alone stay on task.

I am learning that if I need to get it all done, I HAVE to shut things down or put them away. On a deadline, my phone stays hidden (like in a drawer hidden). And if I really need to finish, all my active windows need to be closed. We are in a world these days of multi-tasking so much we can’t single-task. Thank you Chris Bailey & the Productivity Project for making me aware of this one.

Yes, my guy totally doesn’t get me but he will admit that despite my path, I always end up reaching my destination.

I met Chris at the Thrive Conference & he was absolutely brilliant. His book is blowing me away right now on how I need to do better approaching how to be more productive.

Travel

If Not Now, Then When? A Life-Changing Moment.

by Jenn & Chris on March 23, 2016

This life.

This beautiful, awesome, amazing, privileged, lucky life that we are all leading can often feel seriously and unabashedly undervalued.

Not too long ago, we travelled to Tanzania to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. I can without a doubt tell you that it changed something in us. It was more than simply conquering the summit; though hells to the yeah, we were proud of that accomplishment. It was tough, most definitely, one of the hardest things we’ve ever done. The mountain gave us the confidence to know that the impossible is only impossible, until you do it.

But there was so much more woven into that trek.

It began with the guides: the men who helped us climb the mountain. We spent a week with them, walking 8-9 hrs a day, talking and learning about their lives, the challenge to get ahead, the corruption in Africa, the amount of money they earned in a year (which was often under $1000), the intensity of their hustle (mostly to be able to pay for schooling or food for their children), their home and their pride in their families. Life seemed like such a struggle for them. Yet despite all of this, their spirit and their smiles were ever-present. No matter what the challenge they encountered, they would simply reply with Hakuna Matata, which truly and honestly means No Worries in Swahili.

We came home to our house, our 2 cars, our phones, our computers, our full closets, countless shoes and our various amusements. Our fridges were full of groceries, we had plenty of pretty things for our house and toys for our kids were abundant. And it all felt ridiculous.

I stood one day in Toys R Us and watched countless kids (including my own) whine or throw a tantrum because their parents were not getting the latest Shopkins or Wii game. It was like I was Katniss witnessing the opulence of the Capital in the Hunger Games for the first time, and it made me sick.

Something in that moment woke me up.

What have we been doing?

Our children (and the majority of children living in this first world nation) truly have no clue how lucky they are. I want them to feel the world. Yet telling them or showing them online the kind of conditions that other children experience in the world is not enough.. We don’t see the kind of compassion or empathy we would expect for their fellow people. They are numb. They have become too over-exposed in the digital space to be able to fully appreciate their lot in life.

And an idea started to twist and turn in my head.

We needed to make a change. And not something minor.

A massive, life-affecting kind of change to kick this #Firstworldproblem in the ass.

It has always been our dream to go on a big trip. To travel the world and find opportunities to immerse ourselves in other cultures. To give back where we can.

We use the phrase “Life is too short” as a catch-all, an answer to cover all the possibilities when we want to do better, be better. Yet do we really pay attention to what that phrase really means?

It was time to walk the talk. We decided it was time to go and witness first hand the way the world works, and the role we play on the planet. To follow our dreams.

How can we ask our kids to follow their dreams when we haven’t followed our own?

We realized the time for us is now. No waiting.

If not now, then when?

When (if ever) is the right time to take that leap of faith and go do something extraordinary? You could spend your whole life waiting for the perfect moment, or you could take a leap of faith and make now that perfect time.

And so our big announcement is that we are selling our house, taking a leave from work, and traveling the globe with our family for 6 months at the end of this year.

This isn’t about going on vacation. This is about teaching our kids to become global citizens. To understand, to connect and to appreciate cultures all over this big, beautiful world of ours.

We want to make the biggest impact on our children while we still can. We have no idea what to expect, but we are going to take the leap. The universe is begging for us to explore it. For us, this is about living in the moment, in the now. We are going to go for it, let fear go and trust.

Trust that there will be good days and bad. Trust that we are risking everything and nothing. That we as a family will grow deeper connections and that our kids will learn amazing things on the road. Trusting (and believing) that this will make all the difference in their lives and ours.

We are so excited about our adventure and look forward to sharing the highs and lows of our preparations and our journey on our blog. We hope you will come along with us for this next chapter in our lives.

To making the when..now.

We started letting the words of this trip tickle our tongue even in this post awhile back. We didn’t realize then that we were starting to write this story. Think about what you desire most. Write it down. It very well could lead to your next chapter.

IF WE CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT.

Family Matters

I slept with the President: My affair with Netflix

by Jenn & Chris on March 11, 2016

or HOW TO EXPLAIN BINGE-WATCHING TO YOUR SPOUSE.

Dear Husband,

So I did it again.

I fell deeply down the rabbit hole of another series on Netflix and disappeared for days, weeks in fact.

OK, maybe I became a little crazed, wanting to discuss with you when I came to bed, watching on the iPad when doing laundry, on my phone during lessons for the kids and convincing you that I would watch “just one more episode” even though it was already 1 am. It couldn’t be helped love, it was JUST. SO. GOOD.

I weaved through storylines and seasons. I questioned character development and then COULDN’T believe that one of my favourite characters died (which in normal TV series watching is totally fine but in consecutive binge TV watching you are all “No, No, Nooooooooooo). I fed my hunger, clicking on that Play Next Episode over and over again, negotiating with myself an agreement that I would finish the end of THIS season and then I would stop.

I wanted to see what happened next so badly.

And then.

There was just nothing left.

There was no more Play Next Episodes because somehow, unrealized by me, we had got to the end.

WHAT??!!!

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

I felt the let down. Bereft.

Like I accidentally let go of the balloon I was holding and watched it float away up, up into the sky.

Sad Panda.

The BINGE

I know you don’t get it.

I know you think its an addiction.

It might be.

But its Netflix…& its called Binge-watching for a reason.

You see, these characters become my people every night. I LIVE their lives right along side them because I see them for so many hours a day. They are my answer to you watching hockey, football, basketball and golf. And I get lost, immersed in the day to day activities of the clink; the manipulative, underbelly world of Washington or the trials and tribulations of teenage angst. But the truth is, I sincerely LOVE getting lost.

The first step in addiction is admitting you have a problem.

So to clear the air, I will confess the following:

I think about the show even when it’s not on.
I have fantasized about what it would be like to sleep with the President of the United States.
I have racked my brain on who A might be
I’ve tried deciding which character’s clothes I would choose
I lament characters dying & think of how vicious ancient times must have been (Yet so sexy)
I’ve questioned if we have enough water and what we should do for an apocalypse plan
I’ve thought about what I would do to survive in prison.
I’ve even pondered how the hell a diet of wine and popcorn keeps a gal looking so slim. I mean I feel like if I tried that I would just be fat and really really constipated.

Oh my god. How could you say no to this? Photo Credit: Charisma — Oh my god. How could you say no to this?
Photo Credit: Charisma

What Netflix has done is found writers who have created quality, exciting storylines and curated enticing programming in an aftermath of stupid reality television. They have developed the perfect user experience that makes you feel like you are saying “Hello Old Friend” the minute you settle down for a visit and I really really love it.

Yes as I read this, it might seem more like an addiction but its not one I’m ready to go into rehab for any of it just yet. Perhaps we can Netflix & Chill a bit and you will be a little more open to how beneficial Netflix can be in our relationship?

Love

The Wife

P.S. I have also thought about sleeping with Tim Riggins.

And Daryl. And Jake Ballard.

And maybe a few guys from Game of Thrones.

Ok I’ll stop now.

I am most definitely on "Team Riggins" — I am most definitely on “Team Riggins”. Photo Credit: The Frisky

Dad says:

For the record, I..

A) have no idea who these people are, but why no girls?

B) am ok with it, just not all at once and can i please get back to watching regular season hockey…EVERY game counts!

NB: I have no affiliation with Netflix. This is not a sponsored post. This has been a hot button in our house and I know after a few nights out with girlfriends I am not the only one who needs to find a fan or take a cold shower after a steamy episode of whatever you are watching.

Let’s Be Real ..You are not alone.

Family Matters

WHAT I LOST. WHAT I FOUND.

by Jenn & Chris on January 7, 2016

THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP

My husband has a saying.

“You put the feelings in a jar…you push them way way down…& then you close the lid”….

For me, this past year not only popped off the lid. It kind of shattered the whole jar.

One of the hardest years of my life and probably one of the best in teaching me how to live.

I felt a tremendous sense of loss this year. From losing a dear friend, business relationships, money, trust, beliefs, and faith: this year suitably kicked my ass on all fronts.

But what I realize now is that every time I have felt lost, I ultimately ending up being found. Whether it was the discovery on how I function, behave or think, each loss gave me new perspective & priority on what is important in my life.

Friends & Family who always let me know they have my back

What I lost.

Connection.

Grief hit deep and hard when one of my closest friends passed away this year. Her loss was cataclysmic and admittedly I lost my way. I retreated. I was deeply blue. I felt alone. I felt disappointed by a number of my friends. Friends who I had been there for, listened to, nursed, and supported through a number of trying times in their lives didn’t seem to be there when I needed them the most.

Here’s the kicker.

I forgot to tell them.

And they forgot to ask.

With the advance of social media, we assume we know what is going on in each others lives because of the 1% of our lives we have posted that day. It has become the norm that a “like”, a <hugs>, a <3 means that as a friend you are thinking of someone. When people see you smiling, travelling, experiencing life on social, they automatically assume you are OK.

Not so my friends. So not so.

I hadn’t wanted to burden them with my stuff, and yet they were going through a ton of stuff on their own that they too didn’t want to burden anybody with. Damn you Facebook.

By managing friendships through social, we have lost the ability to look into friend’s eyes and see what is really happening in their world. To sense their hesitation when you ask what’s up. To see the tears well up when you ask if they’re ok.

What I found.

When I started actively reaching out, I found that I still have those friends. Those relationships are in the core of my heart. Those friendships are solid. They have carried me over the hardest hills and helped me land on the other side.

The biggest priority for me now is to renew friendships in person and value the relationships I have cultivated. To make plans (& stick to those plans) to spend quality time in person. To show them my love & my gratitude. To take the time to let writers/friends know their words affected me. To share impact moments. To show appreciation, practice kindness, and spread joy.

Seeing, listening & being with each other in real life. Laughing, crying, hugging and supporting each other through ALL our times.

Laughter & friendship are my best medicine

That connection point for me is the most essential to renew in my life and I simply can’t wait to catch up.