Jenn & Chris – Page 19 – Mom Dad CuppaKids

PiDGiN Has You Soaring

by Jenn & Chris on November 5, 2014

Do you ever have one of those moments where you are about to cross-friend (NEVER a guarantee when heading out for dinner), you introduce savvy, gregarious females to each, other and as the conversation starts flowing, you know the universe will never be the same again?

It’s Magic.

We had the pleasure of experiencing that magic when we headed to one of the warmest and most welcoming restaurants in downtown Vancouver, PiDGiN . Our intent was to talk business and a relaxed atmosphere was where we wanted to meet up. We got to the resto and were immediately greeted by one of the most generous of souls I think I have ever met. Neil. Neil who was lovely and gentlemanly and had a raging sense of humour.

As he sat us, and asked for our cocktail order I of course went to my standard Hendricks & Tonic. Something now as a “mature” (Bahaaahaaa) woman, I feel is completely justified in spending more money on good gin and by all means, Hendricks is THE most delicious gin you will ever taste.

The gin was the only thing I got to order.

You see we had Sarah Zaharia with us, who wrote for My Life in Winnipeg until she headed over to start a new life in Vancouver and has begun a new blog called Pepper & Vine (follow this one folks- anyone with this kind of wine/food knowledge is going to go serious places).

Between Sarah and Neil, it felt like we were watching an intricate Viennese waltz. There was an instant chemistry between them, largely because PiDGiN does this really cool offer of $1 corkage where you can bring in your own wine and Sarah had brought the most insanely delicious bottle I think I have ever tasted. Did you know there was such a thing as a white Bordeaux? Me neither. Neil seemed indubitably impressed and we knew we were in the presence of two foodies dedicated to figuring out the perfect mix of how food & wine play together. (It kind of felt like a bit of a gift being able to watch all of this)

Our whole meal turned into a beautiful, delectable journey, handing over the keys to these two characters and simply going with the flow. I needed to do that. We all needed to do that and all I can say is that I tried some amazing new fare, experienced some of the best wine of my life and most definitely made friends of a lifetime.

It is important to note that in addition to Sarah at the table, we had Julie Nowell and Susie Parker. Sarah, Susie and myself are all from Winnipeg and are proud to say that we broke Julie. Apparently, Peggers know how to have a great time.

If you are heading to PidGiN, here are the top faves I would highly recommend:

French 75 Cocktails…Oh…My…God. Best cocktail ever.

French 75- Nothing more fabulously on trend and vintage at the same time

Oyster Shots (you can laugh at my hesitation) here.

These off the hook smoke almonds that were to DIE for.

The most delicious carpaccio I have ever tasted.

And this is just to name just a few.

If you are looking for a fabulous restaurant in GasTown, in the downtown core or in Vancouver…PiDGiN will bring you that magic.

PiDGiN is also fabulous at connecting at Twitter. You can find them @PiDGiNVancouver

Healthy Living

Let’s Talk About RAPE…Shall we?

by Jenn & Chris on November 4, 2014

TRIGGER WARNING: You might not like this post as it is an account of what I went through as a person who has experienced rape. If its going to bother you, then don’t read it. If you are open-minded and willing to embrace another part of a story then please proceed.

I accepted another challenge this month. It is a writing challenge. One of truly to goodness straight up writing…

It’s about writing from the heart.

Contemplating what to write about, I have pretty awesome ideas on posts like “how to host a wicked fairy party,” “Venus VS. Mars and the quest of the conversation between men and women,” “how fierce you get as a mom of autism,” … but the one that keeps rearing its ugly head is “Let’s Talk About RAPE.”

The funny thing is I don’t want to talk about rape. It is actually the very last thing I want to talk about on the planet but there is a part of me that just wants to say one thing. That it stays with you. It will always stay with you.

As more and more women (& men) were including the #BeenRapedNeverReported admittance on Twitter last Thursday, I felt compelled to add my own experience to the rising number of people who were “coming out.” It felt comforting. It felt like I wasn’t alone.

I tweeted it. Threw up. Then went to bed. Only to have that fabulous recurring nightmare that night for the first time in eons and not be able to sleep past 4am.

I won’t talk about the rape. No I didn’t report it. It took many years before I could even tell my parents about it in fact. What I can tell you is that it fundamentally changed me and I am pretty sure I can say the same to anyone who has been assaulted, raped or molested. You can most definitely get past it but it will never GO away.

Let’s talk about what happens AFTER a rape…

The Shame
- I can’t truly tell you how many times I used to berate myself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, how awful & stupid & responsible I felt for bringing this on myself. I blamed, bargained and berated myself for a really long time. I eventually stopped the shaming, but I can tell that there is still a small piece that sits with me to this day.
The Nightmares
- For years I had a recurring nightmare of various scenarios from that night. Awful, violent ones that usually lasted right up until the moment I am about to get killed. I wake up flailing, out of breath, screaming–and as much as I know better, it takes me most of the night to settle down from one of those even now.
The Counseling
- I had those nightmares for seven years, almost nightly, until I finally was convinced by my boyfriend at the time to go seek help. I tried numerous counselors. One had me “huff” all my grief and anger out and encouraged me to get primal with my anger. One had me scream at my assailant, which usually just exhausted me till I went home and slept for days. Nothing was helping until finally I went to Klinic Community Health Centre in Winnipeg. The counselor understood rape and we talked a lot about giving away my power and giving him so much power in terms of holding on to what had happened. I realized it was done. I couldn’t do anything to change it. I had to accept it in order to move on.
The Promiscuity
- I went through some really strange relationships. On one hand, I would have relationships that were wonderful, kind, supportive and fun and I would almost inevitably fuck them up. They were too safe, or too kind, and I would want to control them. On the other hand, I would somehow be drawn to sex addicts or abusive relationships that made me feel… what? Desired? Wanted? Taken care of (see: Christian Grey & his dominant personality)? The one good thing that came out of these were that they exposed me to sex in a different light. By pushing those envelopes I somehow stopped needing to control sex and learned more to experiment with it. I started to own my body versus giving it away all the time. As bad as it was, it ultimately made me much more deeply connected to this day in what I like, who I am and how open I am willing to be.
The Guilt
- I can’t tell you how many times I have wondered if he has done this to someone else. I wondered if I had said something, would things be different? People 20+ years ago were in no ways supportive of a victim’s claim of rape and for me, I was not willing or wanting to go through that process (given what I had seen others go through). Defense lawyers were primed to target all aspects of your personality and your life and for me, it simply was not worth the exchange.
The Forgiveness
- Eventually, I learned to forgive myself for that night and in some ways forgave him. I had to in order for me to live my life fully and completely in present day. There will always be a scar, but scars fade.
The Never-Ending
- This will stay with me for my lifetime, but how I manage it is up to me. There are SO many more layers than simply asking “why didn’t you report it?” Before passing judgment or forming any kind of opinion, please just remember that you never… really… truly… know anyone else’s story.

Changing the World

#CentsAbility Savings for a Month Gave a Salary for a Year

by Jenn & Chris on November 3, 2014

What you need to know about Chris and I is that we are firm believers of equity among all people and have a tremendous discomfort in being “class-ified.” As Canadians, being catered to or receiving privilege when others don’t, just doesn’t feel right in our world. So on our Mt. Kilimanjaro climb, it was important for us to get to know our guides leading us on the trip.

Thanks to Intrepid Travel we had an incredible group of professional guides on our team. Simon (our lead guide), Soster, Dismas and Joaquim were our saviours on the climb. They got us to the top and kept us going through the 6 day trek. As we walked, we talked about their families, their village, their way of life.

Our Kili crew — Our whole Intrepid Kili Crew

It was surreal for us discovering how high Tanzanian unemployment was, how grateful they were to pick up these treks up the mountain (Guiding Kilimanjaro expeditions being their only source of income), how essential it was to them to provide an education for their children and how for them, family was everything.

When we came home, we looked up and found the average annual salary in Tanzania was $1500 for the year.

FOR… THE… YEAR…

Take note the next time you think of hashtagging #FirstWorldProblems.

We have been working with The Intrepid Foundation to match any donations we raised with our #TeamPowell Kili Climb on a quest to support Kiliproject.org, (Village Education Project Kilimanjaro), which provides educational opportunities for boys & girls in Tanzania. This rings so true in our hearts.

So this easily became our goal for the @Manulife #CentsAbility Challenge.

To fund a year’s worth of salary for Kiliproject.org and help bring equity and education to an area that 100% needs our help.

Here is a rundown on how we changed it up for October to help create change.

1) We had a Garage Sale.

There is something other-worldly coming home to so much stuff when you meet children who have no bed. So we immediately set out to have a garage sale and get rid some of the “stuff” suffocating us here at our house.

Next time your kid whines about not getting something, talk to them about children their age having nothing… no clean water, no extra clothes, no bed, no school. Funny how that quiets them down.

Money Raised: $240

2) Changing up my “office”

Working as a mobile office, Starbucks tends to be my stop between meetings ,which I have to say is not good for my wallet or my waistline. I started actively seeking out libraries or common areas to head to to do my work as an alternative to the usual.

Library over Starbucks 15 Days/mth X average bill of $10/visit

Money saved this month: $150

(Cost Savings per year say at $100/mth = $1200)

3) Active couponing

I am not a great couponer but after I was introduced to the Flipp App at the Manulife #CentsAbility lunch at BlissDom Canada, I am feeling a lot more game to give it a try. The cool part of this app is that it collects all of your favourite shops in one location and provides you their weekly flyer. This gave us the ability to flag the coupons we wanted and add them to our shopping list so it was RIGHT where when we needed it. PERFECT. Over the last 4 weeks, the hubs and I have managed to save at least $20/week via smart coupon decisions.

We also have been accumulating cash on our PC Plus Card for Loblaws (a grocery store in Canada) which provides savings offers and a cash back on all your grocery purchases. Perfect time to redeem that accumulating cash on the card.

Money Saved this month: $ 80

(Cost Savings per year $ 960)

Using our PC Plus Rewards to redeem at Loblaws $30

4) Cancelling a number of our monthly auto pay subscriptions

Listen, if I was using them..no problem but when I realized that I had been paying for a Weight Watchers Subscription ($20/mth), a GoodLife Membership ($50/mth), a monthly magazine subscription ($10/mth), too many royalty free stock image sites to count ($20/mth) and we weren’t using any of, it was time to shut ‘er down.

Money Saved this month: $100

(Cost Savings per year $1200)

5) Changing up work habits

I do a lot of client meetings and find the best form of meeting is a casual one over a meal.

However, explaining what we were doing, I found common place with a number of clients who were tired of the usual lunch meetings and were game when I suggested we meet for exercise or a walk instead. Rather than spending an average bill of $35-50 taking them out for a meal, we got healthy AND I stuck to the #CentsAbility Challenge.

I also made the simple effort of switching lunch meetings to coffee meetings which greatly changed my daily work spend.

The last part was while travelling for business to Vancouver. I was introduced to the benefits of the Fairmont’s President’s Club (Many Thanks Rob!). As I was staying at two different ones for two conferences this couldn’t have been better advice. Signing up for the President’s Club provided free wifi, a host of value adds & because their customer service is so epic, they shuttled my luggage to the other hotel saving me the cost of a taxi to take over my stuff across town.

Hosting 2 meetings while suggesting exercising vs lunch $70/week

Money saved this month $ 280

(Cost Savings per year $ 3,360)

Switching 1 lunch meeting to coffee meeting $5 vs $35/week

Money Saved this month $ 120

(Cost Savings per year $ 1,440)

Fairmont’s President’s Club Benefits

Money Saved this month $55

So the month has come to end as has our #CentsAbility Challenge and we are SO very proud to say that with the efforts we put towards being financially conscious in October we managed to raise/save $1,055.

With the Intrepid Foundations match we will be sending $ 2,110 to help support this worthy cause!

It also showed us what saving money better could do for us on a yearly basis and help us strive for our next goal….

To go back to Africa with our kids.

I can’t thank Manulife enough for putting this out there as a goal for us to try to achieve. It has truly been life-changing.

Our Intrepid Guides - Simon, Soster and Joaquim — Our Intrepid Guides – Simon, Soster and Joaquim

For information on the @Manulife #CentsAbility Challenge .

Other #CentsAbility Challengers: CommonCentsMom , DaddyBlogger, MyDirt, CristaClips, Shasherslife, 3Chickensanda Boat

Family Matters

The #CentsAbility of Sharing

by Jenn & Chris on October 15, 2014

Our #CentsAbility Challenge

My dad has a lot of sense when it comes to money. He can tell you with acute clarity how much my folks have in savings, investments and the cost of running the house.

I somehow did not inherit this trait in terms of good money practice and how to save.

This is why when Manulife put out the call to try a #CentsAbility Challenge for the month of October, I was 100% totally and completely IN.

We are solid in terms of putting money aside for savings like our kids RESP and for our RRSP, but I do find myself too often surprised and asking, “where exactly did the money go?”

The #CentsAbility challenge is setting us on the right path of planning before we go out and stopping the purchase of the “Impulse Buy” in order to take back the money we work so hard to make.

But for us…there is a catch.

We had the opportunity to go to Tanzania last month to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro as our way of celebrating the milestones we have met this year (10th Anniversary & 40th Birthday).

We booked our trip through Intrepid Travel (who I personally adore) and because it was important to us to do something more than just go, we got connected with the Intrepid Foundation right before we left.

The Intrepid Foundation is a not-for-profit fund that helps travelers give back to the communities they visit. They are supported by Intrepid Travel, Geckos Adventures and Peregrine Adventures which means all the admin costs for the fund are covered by those companies. They also match donations dollar for dollar which for me, and this #CentsAbility challenge, makes my heart sing.

The Intrepid Foundation introduced us to the Kiliproject.org which promotes education opportunities within the Kilimanjaro area. We have a #TeamPowell fundraising campaign going (again the match people, take advantage of the match!) and plan to keep it a continued goal in our world moving forward.

You see, when we were on the trip, I had an opportunity to get to know our guides (6 days hiking on a mountain can help with that!) local villagers, children, and “business owners.” I learned about costs of living, costs of education, gas, healthcare, retirement… for them it was “what is retirement?” not “when is retirement?”.

If you ever want to get a hard knock perspective on your life compared to what life could be like in another country, check out If it were my home. It provided us a serious look at how vast life is different between Canada and Tanzania. Tanzanian’s average YEARLY salary is about $1,400.

When we came home to our bungalow in Toronto, it felt like it was a palatial mansion. The clothes in our closet, the toys, everything just made me kind of grossed out.

We just have SO MUCH STUFF and it suddenly felt like we could easily do without much of it, if it means providing dollars that can change someone’s year over in Tanzania.

So our goal in the #CentsAbility challenge is to pull back as much as possible to help raise those much needed dollars for KiliProject.org. We are totally game in ways in which we can do this and are watching all the #CentsAbility challengers to find ways we can help make a difference.

Family Matters

A Fresh Approach to Autism

by Jenn & Chris on October 15, 2014

Mom says…

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

I started blogging awhile back on a different site and for a different reason. It was a space I used to pour out my anger and heartache (and then eventually positivity and encouragement) when learning to accept and manage a new ASD diagnosis for my son. It was a site that talked about learning to run in order as we learned how to deal.

I cried daily when I ran and when I wrote. I would talk stuff out with my awesome running partner. (Thank you forever and a day, Jen) and then I would talk it out online. For a number of years, running and writing truly became my therapy.

What I learned about blogging was that everyone has a story to tell, and surprisingly, when you tell it, people want to connect. As I wrote, I discovered my tribe. I got to know other amazing bloggers who talked through the story of Special Needs Parenting. I read and digested their blogs daily; I felt their pain, we shared our stories. I wrote the blog to spin a positive light on Autism, sharing successes and challenges but with a focus on hope and joy.

And then Autism got too much for me.

We had to fight the school board for support; we had to fight for resources and waiting lists; we had to teach our kids, our friends kids, our friends, teachers, swim instructors, hockey coaches and our families that talking about Autism did not have to feel hushed or uncomfortable (trust me, there are still friends and family who can’t seem to get over that piece). We had to learn to manage stranger stares and grocery shop glares, we had to learn to be different parents, we had to learn how to maintain our relationship in the midst of all this, and we had to learn not to turn on each other when you are so angry you are ready to tear someone apart.

I felt depressed. I walked away from the blog and we walked away from concentrating so much on Autism for a bit. We just decided to live with it. Know what? After awhile, it just kind of settled in like a member of the family. It’s funny how a change of perspective can completely redefine how you live your life.

We already know it is ever present in our lives and we SO know that we are about to enter into another phase soon of Autism awful (I see a dear friend going through it with her child in Junior High, and it kills me to see her have to deal with so much heartbreak). But we have decided that we don’t want to concentrate on the awful. Instead, we wanted to launch a new blog that provides a different perspective on Autism, on parenting, on pushing your limits, living life in the moment, travelling, adventure and everything in between from BOTH our viewpoints: Mom AND Dad.

So welcome to MomDadandCuppaKids.com. It may not be therapy, but we look forward to it being a lot of fun.

Dad says…

This is Dad. Dad does not (historically) share. Oh, I share stories, jokes, snacks and time, but feelings? Emotions? REAL stuff? No, no. But I saw how it worked for Jenn, allowing her to get some catharsis by putting herself out there and letting it go. So here we go: I will do my best to open up and give a sneak peak under the hood, I promise.

For me, the diagnosis of Autism for our son was overwhelmingly frustrating. I don’t mind a good fight, but I couldn’t see this opponent. I didn’t understand it, I felt guilty about the cause, and truly wondered how the hell I was going to get through it. WAY too many I’s in that world.

So, I shifted. I started thinking more about different life views, imagining how our guy would see the world. I read a lot of books, and did a lot of watching. I learned so much about how the world might not be as I viewed it. That has certainly opened up a whole new vista for me. I broadened my horizons by experiencing different viewpoints, cultures, and religions, and I realized they all deserved an opportunity to be heard. And that is what you get today, I hope.

I am still making mistakes, but I am trying to make more honest and educated ones. We have always been told Special Needs parenting is tricky. The catch is, parenting in general is tricky. We hope you get some enjoyment from our experience along the way.

Travel

We Know What Kind of Travellers We Are! How about you? #DukoralContest

by Jenn & Chris on October 10, 2014

Dad says:

Okay, lets say it. Diarrhea. It’s a punch line, a rhyming word in children’s songs, but there is nothing funny about it–especially when there are literally no washrooms to be found. Only rocks to crouch behind. The rocks are getting smaller and smaller and farther apart on this sub-desert climate, except for that one big rock you are standing on: Kilimanjaro. It does not have a washroom anywhere. And there is no hiding from diarrhea.

When we decided to travel to Africa for our tenth anniversary, we really had no idea how different it would be. Research, pictures, and stories started to fill in the blanks, and it got scary. We were lucky enough to come from Canada, which has maple syrup and democracy and universal health care. We have clean water, clean air, and little chance of infection from the landscape. Africa cannot say the same. To become sick when abroad is at best a terrible inconvenience, and at worst… well, the worst. Diarrhea effects 1.7 BILLION people a year. That is one heck of a number. And we were travelling to a high risk area.

We took DUKORAL before departing as part of a recommended vaccine protocol, and perhaps the greatest part of this story is that there is nothing to add. We ate food that, while delicious, was foreign to us. We drank water–at least 6 litres a day–from a source that was questionable at best. And we were never affected. Other people on our trip ran into difficulties. Lets just say that running out of your tent 10 times a night so you don’t crap your pants didn’t sound like much fun.

We love to travel. I think Asia is next! I wouldn’t go without proper preparations, and that begins with DUKORAL. Diarrhea will ruin a trip of a lifetime. And it can be prevented. So why wouldn’t you take DUKORAL and take pictures instead of pain?

Kilimanjaro Tarn Hut — Our washroom ABOVE the clouds (10’000 ft) – Tarn Hut, Rongai Route, Mt Kilimanjaro Climb

Kilimanjaro water source — Our water source was that lake, its was a must have to have Dukoral in the plan!

Mom says:

Imagine you are 4 days in to hiking up a mountain and the only water source is sitting water in a “lake” so cold your guides believe the temperatures killed all the bacteria. That’s not science, but that is reality in an adventure up Mt Kilimanjaro. For us, taking precautions meant the difference between amazing and awful, and there was no way I was ready for awful. We fully believe that making that effort up front before leaving, provided us the back up plan in case something DID happen.

Listen, if you are going to go to developing countries, it’s not optional. It is a must to take DUKORAL to help you get through those potential pain moments! We have been in a number of countries over recent years that run the risk of Travellers Diarrhea. Why would you not take preventative measures?

This is why we are happy to support DUKORAL and their “What Kind of Traveler are you?” contest because we sincerely believe in its effectiveness while travelling abroad.

Discover your traveler type for your chance to WIN a $1,000 Air Canada gift card or a GoPro camera! Weekly prizes of a Neutrogena® Travel Prize Pack also to be won. Share your results on Twitter for an additional 10 ballets!

Enter HERE now!

And don’t forget to follow @DUKORALTrvlTips for more great ways to travel safely and comfortably.