Jenn & Chris – Page 12 – Mom Dad CuppaKids

I need to tell you something…

by Jenn & Chris on February 14, 2015

Dear Son,

I need to tell you something.

I need to tell you that there is a part of me that has been living behind a false smile for a few months now.

I need to tell you how much a simple school field trip ripped open my heart and has me completely unsettled. It created a surprisingly deep fear of what to expect in the years to come for you. The teacher who told me that we need to toughen you up? I get it. I understand where she’s coming from. She wants you to experience tough moments while still in such a kind-hearted school because these kids know you, they accept you and it will be so much easier to go there for shelter when you start experiencing the mean.

The teacher who suggested we might want to be open to HSP classes? I get that too. (you wouldn’t have known it when I burst into tears during the parent-teacher interview). Resources in our area are near stripped clean. Like a hyena on a zebra, there really is nothing left. The only way for you to continue excelling is with that amazing one on one help. Without it, you will not be able to stay focused enough to complete the task in the classroom and required to access the special needs room. I need to tell you we don’t want this to happen but recognize this might be the only way to keep you propelling forward.

I need to tell you I see warning signs everywhere. Peripherally. The strange stares as you hum or suddenly fling yourself on the ground, the frustration of friends as you get too close for comfort, the giggles of kids who don’t know you/don’t understand as they form a quick opinion of who you are.

I need to tell you that I am ready to go after anyone who might treat you differently or wrongly. I am like Ralphie in the Christmas Story creating scenarios of getting back at the bullies when it just…becomes…too….much.

I need to tell you I see your sister confused and angry because there is a slight difference in the way we treat both of you and I feel awful about that.

I need to tell you we are organizing a special session with our speech therapist to come and try to explain what Autism is to our friends.

But first…I need to tell you you have Autism.

I am dreading it.

I would like to say “Why fix what’s not broken” but I can’t. Things are different, they are changing and I would rather work with our friends to have their kids on our side than be the jerks who join in on the teasing or even eye rolls.

I would like to say how much I love that your heart is pure gold. Your kindness and generosity of spirit so beautifully innocent. You love unconditionally because to you, there is no other version of love. You take such pleasure in the simplest of gestures, the sweetness of a moment, you help remind me so often of truly focusing on what’s important cause to you, its just a beautiful sunset or intense excitement over the reason round of Super Mario.

I would like to say I got your back. And so do many others.

That we will get through these years and it might be tough. We don’t know the answers but we will always persevere cause as a family, we truly are a team.

With deepest love,

Mom

Healthy Living

In the Company of Women

by Jenn & Chris on February 10, 2015

I started off this post a few weeks ago ready to rail against the machine.

Awhile back, someone I hardly know took the time to share with me a thread that discussed me, my business and my friend in ways that were just well… shitty.

The nasty and ugly that purveys itself as the social norm irritates me to no end, especially when you see people you once respected had fallen down that rabbit hole of negativity.

When did it become so socially acceptable to cut people apart?

I didn’t give a shit what they had to say about me or even my business but they were tearing down a friend. Someone who jumped in when she knew I was drowning and helped me in a big big way. Someone I really respect and admire. Someone who didn’t deserve any of that.

I was ready to provide a sweet piece about my friend and how kick ass smart she is but then I realized, she doesn’t need that. Her friends know how generous she is with her time, the creativity that flows through her, and how big of a heart she has. She is one of the good eggs. Nuff said.

My daughter always points out Haters Gonna Hate. Let them. It’s a waste of energy & breath to care.

I would rather use this space to talk about the value of friendship & of the company of women I keep.

Over the past few weeks, I have had the good fortune of spending quality time with some really amazing friends. Adventures; Hi-jinx; Laughs abound- what they all had in common was that no matter what, I had a ton of fun and I know they all have my back.

Monster Laughs setting up for Bliss ROAM

Everyone needs a company of women. They aren’t just there when it’s sunny. They are there in the tough. They got you covered. Times of begging for a shoulder, an ear, a high-five, a cry, a giggle, a story, a Boo-ya or whatever your heart craves are sheltered by the power of these women in your world.

The strength of women together can be a most beautiful thing when the time is spent raising each other up vs tearing each other down.

And it was everything I needed.

I’m realized I am done with collecting friendships and instead want to take the time to deepen the friendships I have.

For those of you I was lucky enough to spend time with, thank you for feeding my soul.

You truly are my Company of Women.

Healthy Living

Hot Yoga – Addict or Hate it?

by Jenn & Chris on January 25, 2015

I have a personal goal of feeling more grounded this year so Hot Yoga was a great first #TryANewYou challenge. At first I wasn’t so much a fan. The heat was surprising & my capabilities were not as good as I had hoped. As we near the end of the month, I am a changed woman. If you are considering trying something new, here are a few key benefits (there are so many more) that I have discovered on my journey through this challenge.

Benefits of HOT YOGA

Creating space in your body

I am surprised how open & energized I feel. Life is so easy to live hunched, crunched and compacted. Learning new ways to stretch, improve poses and pushing myself to the edge has provided a strength and expansion in my body that is helping me feel light and happy.

A healthy constitution

With so many twists & turns, yoga is a fantastic way to make sure you stay on regular scheduled programming if you know what I mean.

Defining muscles in a different way.

I learned a lot about strength this past year but this is a whole new kind of muscle development. No excuses. YOU are the only resistance your body needs to create muscle. My body is evolving and I see a whole new kind of definition in my arms, legs, shoulders and stomach.

Mental Balance

I asked for abundance this year. My focus for more family time, more laughs, more things that feed my soul, more gratitude to what has come our way. In seeing an abundance of opportunity, I have been pushing myself hard in the work department. The good is that it’s satisfying my need for creativity. The bad is that with opportunity, comes being overwhelmed and with that comes those awful anxiety attacks. Meditating 3-4 times a week is most definitely helping stave those off & provides a more peaceful existence at home.

My skin looks A-MAZING

Imagine having a steam facial every single time you go practice. Hot Yoga is VERY good at making you sweat. The room is hot and the steam/sweat combo has made my face blemish free and beaming.

Sex is great

Your core gets a serious workout in Moksha yoga. A tighter tummy means less pouce (anyone who has had a baby has a special word for that extra skin you carry around post child) and less of that means feeling happier with your body which in turn ALWAYS makes for better sex with your spouse.

I have to say I am turning into an Addict. The hate initially might have been because it can be hard but I have learned you just have to decide what journey you are on that day. Pushing yourself feels good and this challenge has been awesome.

Dad says: Ok, did not expect to invite you, the lucky readers, into the boudoir. Don’t get too excited people, unfortunately the sordid details will remain hidden, but for an overall perspective Jenn is right, a sense of positive body image will transfer into increased sensuality. That will have to be enough said until sweeps week…

The mental part of yoga should certainly not be overlooked. I am pretty sure if you read the husband handbook it will scream in chapter one not to comment on your spouse’s mental state. That said, never read the book. Jenn was getting pretty wound up about the day to day, and anything could send her over to an extreme display, either anger or laughter or an onrush of tears. This has pretty much dropped off the charts. It could be coincidence, but I don’t believe in that, so here is to life change.

I have now seen first hand the power of change that can come through yoga, and although I don’t practice it enough myself I will swear to the positive effect it can have. Congrats to my friend Dale and Jenn, who are both a walking testament to its healing power.

Family Matters

Kids & The need to cuddle – Tales of my daughter

by Jenn & Chris on January 19, 2015

I can hear my daughter trying to sneak out into the hall. My guess is that she is trying to read her book by the light of the bathroom, she is setting up tea time for her animals or she is trying to see if by chance I left the iPad in our bedroom.

She is by all essentials a night owl.

Tonight (like most nights) I know she will collectively come out to check on me/complain of a stomach ache/be thirsty/need to tell me something/ask me to tuck her in/ask me to sing her one of our favourite songs/talk about the day.

It drives me ba-na-na-s.

In trying to maintain a disciplined approach to getting her to bed, we give her warnings. A gruff voice. Threats of losing privileges. We get cross. We talk about being up for school & the importance of getting good sleep. None of these seemingly fine tactics ever quite work with her.

It’s a battles of wills, which eventually one of us wins. Either her falling asleep and us exhausted from the process.

What we have come to realize is that our daughter is quite simply..a cuddler. For her to drift off into Neverland, she seems to need someone close. And to STAY in Neverland, she often shows up in our room in the middle of the night, looking for that need to cuddle to help her ease back to sleep.

For the longest time, I questioned if by allowing her to stay in bed with us or by one/or both of us moving – (yes there have been more than a few nights of BOTH kids showing up in our room) are we doing them a disservice?

I want them to grow up comfortably independent. Learn how to be autonomous and all that jazz. However, in the need to guide our kids to grow up strong, have I forgotten what it was like to be 7 years old? Have I gotten too caught up in the lesson & missed paying attention to a human aspect of growing up? At some point in time, we have all been afraid.

I remember those nights. Whether it was The Goonies, Gremlins or Ghostbusters, you bet your life I was in my parent’s room at some point unwilling to close my eyes afraid at the images that lay before me as I fell to sleep.

I can’t tell you as often as I would like what bothers my little girl but I do know that her imagination is a good one. She is an old soul, a complicated kid and I imagine her creativity brings forth images that could be just too much.

So as I focus on being mindful in 2015, I will take a moment to hear more about her fears & in those times, rather than trying to force her to go to sleep, I will simply offer her a cuddle.

Healthy Living

A case of the Mondays

by Jenn & Chris on January 13, 2015

Mom Says:

The kids looked on. Maybe more than a bit perplexed. Hands covering their ears as I topped out the speakers to play some music. Music that I needed to reverberate through my body. Music that took me back to university, parties at my first house, deep base, heavy chords, ones I couldn’t help but dance to. Not in a pretty Travis Wall kind of way, more like Flea hopping around the stage at a Chili Peppers concert.

Yes. That was me today.

I don’t remember the last time I let a day get to me so much but today was definitely a case of the Mondays. I had been dealt a series of surprise expenses, challenges at work, let’s call it uncooperative people, it just kept adding up and then I hit my breaking point.

But something was different today.

Normally it would be right about this point in time that I would be a bawling mess. Snotty, running nose, bawling mess. Instead, I changed it up. I am not sure if its the Hot Yoga and I’m feeling more grounded or my give-a-shit switch is a little more tuned in today. But I tried something new.

Here are a few ideas that worked well in switching it up a day that dealt you as I call it- The Shit Sandwich

Get out an exercise

Rather than staying inside and letting all the worry overwhelm me, I went for a run. The freezing cold was harsh but it was what I needed to shake it off initially. It gave me a chance to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. It helped. A TON.

Play some music

I am such a music lover and often feel driven by the music playing. Today I initially needed hard core, harsher options. Cake, Led Zeppelin, Green Day, Black Keys.

Then I needed some happy. Sweet Home Alabama, Bennie & The Jets, Superstition, Angel is a Centrefold. Songs in my forever playlist and ones that always make me smile.

Drink Water

Normally a derailing day like today would instantly have me pouring a glass of wine or a cocktail (those dear friends who know me well already suggested Gin). Instead I drank more than my share of water. The act of drinking something was more what I needed to chill out than what I was drinking.

Mmmmm...I DO loves me some Gin — Mmmmm…I DO loves me some Gin

Keep Perspective

I am not a brain surgeon. This isn’t life or death. This is the school of “lessons learned” and I learned one for sure today. Taking a deep breath and remembering that this is all parts of being an entrepreneur helped my relax a bit. Failures & challenges will be ever present. It’s how you deal with them that makes the difference.

NOW THIS also completely fixed my day.

Dad says:

Well, someone get a pen and mark this one down. Either I am finally cracking the Jenny code, or she may actually be actively listening to said husband. I have been shouting from on high for too long about perspective, the big picture, what does it all mean in the big scheme. For some reason, it seems that this often falls on deaf ears. Not just Jenn; it seems like the world likes to take itself quite seriously, and that can be bad. Really bad, if religion is involved, but I will wax over that for now.

I have found a few tricks that work, but they are eerily similar to Jenn’s list above:

Music: I have a soundtrack, and it is awesome! When I have a job to do, music gets me there. Top of a mountain? Yup! I was the guy with headphones muttering Jack Johnson and The Doors. Working out? AC/DC, the Sweet, Bob Seger. You get the pic. Whatever drives you, embrace it and move to the groove.

Exercise: Yeah, well, begrudgingly. I have a friend at work who drags me to the gym at lunch time, daily. Can’t even convince her to go for a drink instead, because she doesn’t. Really. Those people exist. Whatever, I have yet to come out of living the Good life without a boost in energy and mental health levels.

Doesn't matter what you do, as long as you do something — Doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you DO something

Hydrate: Big difference here. My way is WAY more fun than Jenn’s, as it does involve booze. Whatever you like, do it, but embrace it. Taste every last drop of that Pinot. Listen to the ice crack in your cocktail, watch the cascade in your Guinness. Makes everything easier to digest, whatever life has put on your plate.

You: Yes, that’s right. You time. Again, personalize it. I walk in the snow, read weird books or magazines I have never heard of, and will occasionally watch some seriously awesome stuff on TV lately. Naked and Afraid anyone? Look deep into you, decide what you like, give the kids away and shut off your phone and do it. You have my permission.

Healthy Living

Our #TeamPowell Marilyn Denis experience

by Jenn & Chris on January 7, 2015

All the links below are linked back to the Marilyn Denis Show. They will be taking them down soon so if you want to see our experience, check it out.

Last year at this time, I was nervously a twitter. It was a less than a couple of weeks before we were about to go on a national television show and I was going to say my weight OUT LOUD. On Marilyn Denis. You know…cause nothing like putting it out there for all of Canada to know.

We knew that we had let ourselves have “Too much fun” and had gone from being a little heavy to officially overweight.

I also hadn’t actually stepped on a scale. When I did I almost crapped my pants.

213.

How on earth did I get to 213 lbs?

I didn’t really eat horribly but I loved having a glass of wine every night when we got home. Between that and the fabulousity of a Gin called Hendricks, I was pretty much done for. I also ate late at night. Didn’t drink hardly any water. I just wasn’t taking care of myself. We weren’t taking care of us.

And we certainly weren’t teaching our kids any kind of good habits.

Our first show was Jan 22nd where Marilyn introduced the Couples Weight Loss Challenge. We each were challenged to lose 40 lbs in 5 months. We were #TeamPowell and we were going to do it together. Our plan was to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro to celebrate our anniversary/ my birthday and I had a personal goal of fitting into my wedding dress.

We were so lucky. Marilyn, Sharon (our producer), the camera crew and production team were amazing. Right from the start we could feel that we were totally supported from the show.

They set us up with Samantha Montpetit-Huynh, our trainer and Miranda Malisani, our nutrition consultant. We cleaned our cupboards and started fresh. We got a weekly routine to workout to and a meal plan to stay connected. We went Gluten free, low salt, low sugar and ate as naturally as we could. Chris teased both of them relentlessly with quips of us going out for poutine and I have to say, the ladies were amazing. They took it in stride and asked how they could keep us on course.

What we had left when Miranda went through our cupboards

Everything that wasn't on the "good" list — Everything that wasn’t on the “good” list

We had a check in with the show in March at which point they surprised us by installing a home gym. That gym and being able to exercise at home first thing in the morning has made an absolutely HUGE difference. We talked about how we were doing and discovered a new term for what I am like when I am hungry. I get hangry but we were focused on getting #TeamPowell to the finish line. We had a challenge and a goal and a timeline to get there.

In the timeframe we also went with our family to Scotland. Let me tell you, there is nothing sadder than saying no to Guiness every day when you are in the land of where Black Velvet flows.

By June, we were back on the show with a summary of our experience. It was a roller coaster but we made it and in the short time we had…we got to our goal and showed our REVEAL on the show.

This is important because today, January 7th, you will see us back on Marilyn Denis and showing you the heights we got to climbing Mt. Kili. Yes, we have gained some weight back but we are applying what we learned to just get back on the horse with a new challenge and a new goal. It changed our life.

We live healthier. We choose smarter. Exercise is now always with us. The kids expect us to workout. Its a beautiful thing.

Many many thanks Marilyn. It truly was an experience of a lifetime.